Dear Baby Miller

Dear Baby Miller,

Hey Cheeky!! I’ve toyed with in-vitro names for you such as “Buddy,” “Munchkin,” “Lil’ Mill,’” “Poopsie”… But given your penchant for kicking incessantly, constantly resting on my bladder and your crazy timing into our lives, I think “Cheeky” is the best name for you!!

Madea, your maternal grandmother (who despises being called a “grandmother”), had a special nickname for us. In the early days of our marriage, she called us “Posh & Becks” in homage to our celebrity status and behaviour. You will be pleased to know however that we are not following in their footsteps in regards to naming you after the place you were conceived: It’s bad enough that Birmingham will be on your birth certificate as place of birth. Mummy hopes that doesn’t cause too much prejudice in your later life.

This is one of mummy’s randomly favourite pictures of us together:

Date Night at the German Market

That’s your daddy, looking like an Abercrombie model advertising a BBQ. One day mummy will show you pictures of what daddy looked like at university and you’ll realise that mummy is a miracle worker, able to see potential behind a mass of ginger curls and baggy clothes. It will also explain to you why it takes so long for the family to get dressed up to go out.

And that’s me, your mummy, the one with the eclectic fashion sense (part hobo-part style icon) and the tendency to consistently bite off more than she can chew. I expect your extra-curricular activities and holiday schedule will reflect that same ethos.

Now, for that rare brief two-minute period of the day where mummy is serious and doesn’t make an inappropriate joke, this photo tells you three things about your new life:

1. There will be adventure.

Whether to this German Market, theme park, Texas, a canal, or even to the shops; there will always be a crazy story, a fun time and an experience that seems so outrageous, your friends will think you’ve made up.

2. We bring light.

We desire to shine brightly, stand strong, be different and draw people to examine their lives in its intended fullness with Father God, out of the darkness.

3. You will need to exercise lots as we LOVE food.

A lot.

But hopefully you’ll be annoying just like us and have an incredible fast metabolism so you can eat whatever you want and stay thin.

See, I told you I can’t go more than two minutes.

Cheeky, you are loved more than you know.

(Regardless of the screams of agony you have heard from me during morning sickness, muscle pain, PGP, potential pee-pee infection, costochondritis, and blood tests mummy has had to endure to keep you established and comfortable in your Hilton-esque abode.)

We can’t wait to meet you.

(and see who wins the bets re: the ginger afro)

And though the house is a mess and we’re a little nervous, we are so very ready and so excited for your arrival. On September 13th. Just in case you were unsure of the date.

Love,

Daddy & Mummy

The ones that keep poking you and shouting loudly when you sleep.

xxx

Ps. If you can sleep through the night from the first week, we’ll buy you a car for your 18th birthday.

The Worst.

Worst things about being pregnant

#1:

not being able to eat sushi.

#2:

not being able to eat smoked salmon and cream cheese bagels.

#3:

going up a size in clothes.

#4:

working in fashion store that does not have a maternity department thus being resigned to squeezing yourself into jeans that are too tight.

#5:

feeling/looking/being fat because of #2 & #3.

#6:

peeing lots thus needing to break your perfectly rational fear of not using public toilets in case you get a disease.

#7:

having to take blood tests (which you hate) for diseases you know you don’t have (like syphilis) and then the tests getting lost (which is typical) so that you have to give more blood (which you detest).

#8:

lets not even talk about bras/bust size.

#9:

even if you have a normal ailment, such as muscular pain in your ribs, you are not able to see your normal doctor and are scared into visiting the triage maternity unit, where you wait four hours, lying on an uncomfortable “bed” lined with rustling paper towels, listening behind an ugly nylon curtain to harrowing tales of women further along in their pregnancy, only to find out that your baby is fine, it is just, as you thought, muscular pain.

#10:

having to master the art of holding puke in your mouth because you need to pee/poop at the same time and unfortunately they haven’t developed an app for that.

Don't have sex (before you are married), because you will get pregnant and not be able to eat sushi or wear cool clothes and be miserable for eternity!!

NB. People who “enjoyed” being pregnant need not comment on this post for fear of me hurting them (remember, I can blame everything on my mood swings and pregnancy hormones…even manslaughter).

Best thing about being pregnant:

#1 (a mute (moo) point as currently there only seems to be one):

The little thing inside of me, currently the size of a mango, who is going to come out (after hurting me some more) all covered in poop and blood, but will get placed into it my ams, wrapped in our organic cotton blankets, and smile at me, thus helping me realize it was all very much worth it, and showing me so much more of the purity and love of Father God. 

Shame that’s still 4.5 months away.

But I guess worse things could happen. 

Always Thankful for...

• …a flight that was $300 cheaper than anything else we had found.
• a comfy row for two on the plane – Steve gets a window seat, I get an aisle; everybody’s happy!!
• Getting the hair hostess to make me a cocktail of apple juice and spirte – you know me, pushing the boat out!!
• Getting extra bread on the flight (I do love my carbs!!)
• Watching Big Momma’s House 3, Black Swan, Friends, Mr Bean, CSI, Modern Family, and listening to albums by Janelle Monae, Adele & Jessie J.
• Getting picked up in the car by Steve’s sister and baby Fraser less than a month old!!
• The energy of 2 year old Theo (with chickenpox) shouting “bina” & “steve” when we arrived at his house.
• English rain!!
• Arriving at coach station for bus to Oxford 3 minutes before it arrives!
• The sleep on the coach that made up for the lack of sleep on the plane.
• All six bags fitting into the car…by some crazy miracle, and by getting a little squashed!!
• English TV!!
• Fish and Chips for Dinner.
• A “quick trip” with my mummy lasting 2 hours, with ¾ of it involving walking!!
• Mooching around my house in pyjama’s.
• How excited everyone is to see us.
• The fun that we will have over the next two weeks.

• The beautiful sleep I will get tonight. 
• Life, and journey with my wonderful husband. 
• Conversation with Father God.