Ahead

Ahead.

In case you hadn’t noticed,

I like to plan.

I like to be organised.

I like to be prepared.

Yes, I frequently find myself late and dashing to an event, hastily running towards something, speeding across town.

But I go with a clipboard of notes in hand.

I want to be ready.

I know bad stuff will happen, things won’t quite work out, things will go wrong

But I will be ready for it.

I will be prepared.

So I’m superhuman mode at the moment.

Last week I:

• Planned and taught two sessions for two girls in two different grades, to teach them English writing skills
• Prepared 50-60 word biographies on 20+ speakers teaching at Pais training
• Finalised the printing and delivery of over 300 items of uniform for Pais training
• Cooked dinner and dad a girls sleepover (Mean Girls was included and two were vegetarian so I had to learn how to cook tofu)
• Finishing editing pictures from Treslyn’s birthday, graduation and baptism
• Editing some additional newborn baby photos for a friend
• Taught a session to 12 year olds on ‘Girl vs. Girl Crime’ (i.e. Gossip and bullying)
• Helped promote the book launch of ‘The Cloud and the Line’ and was at two events selling books
• Preparing three talks for Foundational Training (Adjusting to a new culture, Creative ministry and The Kingdom Principle of ‘Humbling and Exalting’)
• Planning my preach for Lakehouse Church (August 28^th) on ‘Arlington: A Certain Place’
• Grocery Shopping
• Packing for four weeks away from home
• Tidying my house

I tried to wash and go to the toilet too. 

So here we are facing four weeks of training (three in San Antonio, and one in Monument, Colorado)…and three weeks after that we will leave our apartment in Arlington, for a new unknown home in Birmingham. There is so very much to do.

But I have to let go.

I can’t do everything.

I can’t put 100% into training and simultaneously plan and prepare all that needs to be done for England.

I just can’t.

Even if I don’t wash or go to the toilet.

Sometimes, you have to look at what is laid before you, and just do the next thing.

Father’s words etch into me:

“Be still and know that I am God”

The song writers interpretation stands firm:

“When the oceans rise, and thunders roar // I will soar with you, above the storm // Father you are King over the storm // I will be still and know you are God.

Right now, Foundational Training needs my attention.

Foundational Training needs the best sessions I have to offer.

Steve needs me to assist and help in any and every way.

Leaders need my support and help.

New apprentices need my bubbly personality to help them settle in.

Hopefully no one will need my shoulder to cry on, but I will have tissues ready just in case.

I am believing and trusting in Father God for all the numerous things that are too long to list that we need in the time training.

I am choosing to be still in those areas.

And in my stillness, Father God will work.

He, Jehovah Jireh

the Lord God who provides

whose name is inscribed in our wedding rings

will work.

He will work on our behalf and organise that which needs to be sorted.

He will go ahead of us.

The verse continues to say:

“Be still and Know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

God will be glorified in all of our future plans.

I know that when everything all falls into place with houses and jobs and everything else, that we will know that it didn’t happen because of our striving.

It happened because of Him.

“What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provision. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow.

 God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”

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{verses taken from: Psalm 46:10; Matthew:32-33}

Cookies

Waiting is boring.

Preparing is dull.

Quite often I fancy homemade cookies, but going through the actual process of getting out all the ingredients, measuring them, re-measuring them because I get confused in my conversion from English grams to American cups, getting out the (beloved) chrome Kitchen Aid mixer, following the recipe, dividing up the dough…blah blah blah, I’m bored, and now very much hungry, just thinking about doing all that effort and all that work.

All that preparation.

We just want the cookies. The main event. The end product.

I had a good crying session Sunday night with my beautiful & faithful friend Kelli McFarlane.

I was pouring out my heart over current situations and feeling like I’m in this random time of waiting for who knows what, and not understanding so many things. I know that this is the right path, yet I wonder and worry about so much. Am I really being effective?! What difference am I making?! And then Kelli did what she does better than most people I know.

She asked me an awkward question:

“Jesus spent only 3 years in recorded Bible work. What was he doing for the rest of the time? Was he wasting it?”

Silly Kelli, of course Jesus didn’t waste his time – He’s the son of God!! He would have got a right good spanking from His Dad for wasting time!!

But it got me thinking: What on earth was he doing for the first 30 years?!

So Monday morning I studied the structure of Jesus’ life.

1 day old: Born to a virgin, in a manger; random shepherds came to worship.

8 days old: Circumsised. Guess that was a rough day.

41 days old: Brought to the temple in Jerusalem to be presented; a sacrifice of two turtle doves/pigeons, made

12 years old: Feast of Passover, Jesus lingered behind in Jerusalem, spending three days in the temple, sitting in the midst of teachers, both listening to them and asking questions. All who heard Him were astonished at His understanding and answers.

Aged 30: Jesus began His ministry, after being baptized by John. The rest of those details are heavily recorded.

Aged 30-33: His “ministry” time. These details are heavily recorded.

What was he doing between 41 days old and 12 years old?!

(besides getting potty trained?)

What was he doing between 12 years old and 30 years old?!

(besides that awkward pubescent smelly phase?)

Looking at the few verses that commentate on this they say:

“And the Child grew and became strong in Spirit, filled with wisdom […] And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and men”

That’s a long time spent on growing strong, and increasing in wisdom, but obviously with the amazing things that Jesus did aged 30-33, that time was important. It had benefit. It had worth.

It was essential.

When Steve did his half-marathon, he trained for at least an hour, 3-4 times a week, for several months. His race lasted just over 2 hours.

At the end of the race he got a medal and the sense of pride of achievement, but the lesson wasn’t in the event.

It was in the hours of preparation. That’s where he learnt discipline, hard work, focus, sacrifice, commitment.

The race day was simply the painful culmination of it all.

University isn’t just about a degree, a piece of paper with your name and a grade.

Though I highly advocate further education and the value of a degree, university is a place where you learn social skills, independence, time management, discover who you really are, work out what you want from life, what you have to offer the world and learn from different teachers and different people from different backgrounds.

Father God puts us through times of preparation for a reason.

As I was worshipping God by singing songs tonight, He dropped in my head all my single girl friends.

He said: ‘I am preparing them for marriage’

There are things you are learning now, which will make you a better wife at the start of your marriage then people who get married 5, 7, 10 years before you. You will be better prepared at running a household, managing finances, looking after yourself and others because of your time spent in advance.

Maybe you’re unemployed, or stuck in an in-between temp job trying to work out what the next step is.

Maybe you feel like the country and role you have right now is the one you are supposed to be in, but you know there is something more coming up.

Maybe you have just come out of a long-term relationship, and are wondering why you had to endure that heartache.

In this in-between phase, there are things to be learnt, skills to be honed, adventures to have, wisdom and strength to gain that will make our main event, our race day, our marriage all the better because we were prepared.

It’s hard, because all we want is the cookie. 

But the cookie tastes so much sweeter when you know the effort that you put in to get there.

The ones brought straight from the store never taste as good.