Way

I had this thought today (which I hope is NOT prophetic to my life!) as Steve and I prepare for our (Ikea and) San Antonio trip.

The one that we have to do before we leave is get extra copies of the Pais:USA advert printed. I pessimistically imagined Steve and I driving along the highway and then suddenly realizing that he had forgotten the flyers he was getting printed from a local print and copy shop.

As a loving, caring, dedicated wife, I couldn’t say “Well leave me to shop in this outlet mall while you go back and pick them up.”

Neither could Steve just stop, drop me off by the side of the road and say “Be back soon love”.

No, we would have to travel that journey back to Arlington, pick up the forgotten items, and then continue on our journey.

In marriage, when one person makes a mistake, it affects both people.

We would both have to turn back.

We would both experience delayed journies.

We would both be behind schedule and off course.

This highlights the importance of who you take your journey with you.

Though our crazy life together has meant that we have got lost in the car several times, I have never felt through our married lives like we went off course of what we were supposed to be doing, more than that, I have never felt that we missed out on what Father God had for us.

Because I picked well.

I picked someone I could trust to lead and navigate. Who I could enjoy short car rides, and long arduous journies through mountains with.

I didn’t pick someone who I felt would lead me to go back, drag me down, and cause me to miss out on what I was heading for.

Hopefully Steve feels the same.

[I’ll pay him $10 just to comment and agree at the end to save face.]

Who have you picked as your driving buddy? Are you happy with your choice?

If you are dating, it’s not too late

To let them out by the side of the road.

Or to get out of their car.

If you are married, its time for a hard conversation

and some truths to be told,

and counseling to be had, to

make sure you can go the distance.

If you are single, look carefully.

Don’t fall into the trap of picking up the random hitchhiker by the side of the road,

Because they look like “good fun”

Or you’re tired and you don’t know how much longer you can go driving by yourself.

Our road-trip buddy is second only in importance to the map we are using.

But both are essential

Because we all have a long way to go. 

Steve in his dream "family" vehicle!!

Alone

Since Steve and I got married, maybe since we were engaged, I have wondered:

Father God...why did you cause me to get married so young??

I DO NOT regret getting married.

I LOVE Steve with all my heart and this grows everyday.

But I often look at more than eligible singletons and wonder "Why are they are still single, and I'm the one that's married??"

Lets face it: not many of us thought I'd be the first one to settle down. There's not much about me that suggests I'd make a submissive and obedient housewife making dinners for husband as he returns from work. And having someone determine how much money I can spend on shopping?? Jog on son!!

And I look at some of you BEAUTIFUL girls who are single and I think "They are a much better catch than me!! They care, they're supportive, they're helpful, they're loving and compassionate, they cook well, they're tidy, they're gorgeous!"

A few weeks ago in a preach, Father God revealed something to me.

It is not good for man to be alone. I'll make a helper for him, a companion. [Genesis 2:18]

The speaker explained that it wasn't good for us to be alone and think we could do things all by ourselves - we need to be interdependent with others around us, and that one day will include with a husband.

Within me is such a fiercely independent spirit.

When you grow up without your biological dad, and a mother that is strong beyond compare, you realise that you can make it on your own - you don't need anyone else, you can do what you need to do and no one else needs to help you. Being alone is just fine.

And that's why God got me married so young.

That spirit of independence had grown within me to cause distrust of men, and reliance on myself. I didn't want to be vulnerable through fear of getting hurt, and didn't want anyone too close.

By bringing a husband into my life, Father has taught me that yes I can make it on my own, but I don't have to. There is great strength in a wife that supports her husband. There is great strength in a wife that provides for her family. There is great strength in a woman who opens her heart to be loved, and to love, unconditionally.

God is doing a different thing in each of us.

We cannot compare our lives to oneanother.

There is a reason we are either married or single right now. And Father God wants to show us that reason.

Maybe you're single because Father realises that you so desperately need someone in your life to make you complete and justify and affirm you, that He can't bring someone into your life until you learn to love yourself and seek completion in another.

Maybe you're married because God wants to use you as an example to your family who are broken and need a strong family to set a new example an status quo.

Maybe you're single because God is creating an awesome man for you, and is preparing you to be the wife for him.

Maybe you're married because you are going to be put in situations so hard in the near future that you need to have a mate who is there in those difficult times.

I don't know why you have the dating relationship you do.

But I know Father God has a plan for you within that.

I know He is shaping your story.

I know He has a plan and a purpose for you life that He doesn't want you to miss out on.

I know that faith is trusting in the things unseen, the things that have not been revealed yet to you, but believing that it is going to work out the way its supposed to.

I love you so much beautiful girls.

And no matter what husbands, boyfriends, dates, or fathers we have in our life...

...we will always have each other's love...

...and we will always have the love of Father God.

The joy that comes from learning to love...
[Photography by Sarah Frost]