Hairbands

She sat on the bathroom rug

With quiet methodology

Fingers grasped around the plastic tube

Holding black stretchy ring

She tested each for it’s elasticity

As they were pulled off and on to the floor

She looked up at me

With wide eyes bright

As I told her

“Put them back on”

Head back down

With determined obedience

Her little fingers once again clawed:

The ease with which they flew off

Was not to be repeated.

Each day we read.

With her wry grin

we turn pages,

sing songs,

speak high, speak low

and close our eyes into sleepy submission

But eyes were opened wide for these words:

And I feel my life

Is turning more into dots

A mass of gray

Gold desperate to twinkle through

More and more

My daily trawl of

Facebook

Online newspaper comments

Political discussion websites

TV debates

Seems like vomit

Thoughts of waste

Expelled from the mouths of drunkards

Down 3am dark alleys

Waking up with foul taste in mouth

Groggily justifying

“Hey, I’m entitled to my opinion,

I’m just saying what I think.”

I see your

#100DaysOfHappy

Your

#OnlyGoodThings

Your

#KindnessIsMagic

Desperate to speak against the barrage of hate of

#BigBenefitsRow

Controversy of

#CBB

Because nothing is sacred from public abuse

#HateTheQueen

Even when good is done

When NekNomination is turned upside on its head

With sandwiches instead of Smirnoff

Angry words still condemn

When did we get so critical

Deeming ourselves so high

So right?

When did we forget

That in each vein is blood

Pumping to heart

Desperate for life?

So me and my mini-me

immerse ourselves into the stories

Of the caterpillar that is hungry

Which lion is hers

Discussing the places she will go

And anything else

That allows me to do silly voices

And speak that truth

Reiterate It over and over

Until it becomes rote, ingrained, her being

Over and over:

The importance of words

The life and death they bring

And the difference they can make

They flick off so easily

So quickly

So flippantly

But can’t be put back the same

“Taste your words, before you spit them out”

The wise woman said.

Legacy

This time with Steve’s dad is a bittersweet one.

We all know that our time on earth is relatively short,

somewhere between 80-100 years if we are fortunate.

So in a sense,

we are all dying,

each day a day closer to meeting our maker

But sickness has a way of bringing that to the forefront

Of putting the fragility of life right in our face

Brian & Ruth, through this past autumn, winter and now into spring

Have remained ever trusting in Father God

Faithfully reading His word daily

Relying on revelation by His holy spirit for a word to speak directly into their situation

They have not been failed by our God.

And Steve and I follow suit

Desperate clinging to Father

Asking Him to speak into this beautiful mess

This sweet

yet painful

Time

Daily reading, seeking, wanting a word...

This week I read of a king, rich materially, who was visited by those from an enemy state. He naively welcomes the adversary messengers sent to “wish him well” following his illness. Arrogantly, he tours them through his silver, gold, expensive oils, weapons and such, hiding nothing from their peering eyes.

He exposed himself to his foe.

A prophet (the spiritual equivalent of a psychic) comes along, shocked that he left nothing hidden from them and accurately predicts that all this will be taken from their land in the future.

The King has exposed his forthcoming descendents to their foe.

The Kings response:

“But surely nothing bad will happen in my lifetime.

I’ll enjoy peace and stability as long as I live.”

Do we seek wealth and security for just us or our future generations as well?

Do we think of relationships in terms of the offspring we will produce? Do we consider whether this will be a good union for them?

Do we look after our plot of land right now, or seek to create something sustainable for those to come?

Is only our country of matter, or do we look further afield to sow a seed?

When the photo albums of us are looked back on,

will the page turn swiftly

Hastily

When it comes to our picture?

Or will time be spent

Stroking our face tenderly

Reflecting on the love that was left behind

To a generation that never knew the sound of our voice?

We have no idea of the strength of this disease on Brian’s body

But we know of the strength

Impact

Legacy

Of his life on our future generations

His courage

Leadership

Hospitality

Compassion

Embarrassing anecdotes of Steve

These will live on far beyond his life

They will echo into the eternity of our family

They will be heard 

loudly

And embraced 

dearly

And peace and stability will endure,

long after his lifetime.