Babes

Lights lower to dim as

Slideshow flicks on screen

Reveals first photo of babe in arms.

Tears fall like a river

The child’s mother passes me kleenex.

Yes, this is graduation

The only situation that can bring me to tears.

My heart thinks

“this isn’t even my kid”

but truth is

I have been a part

Of many a life that I’m not biologically related to.

8^th graders filled the house

crazy hair, braces on teeth

sugar highs raise the roof

as we cart outside for ‘balloon stomp’

and ANTM walks on the garden path.

Crazy presentations with ‘Drain-0’ on stage

and dances with tissues

all a pre-cursor

for the depths of discussion

and questions openly asked

missional times

as I watched you grow.

I don’t remember half of what I taught you

(erase that which was in appropriate)

But I remember the times

I wiped your tears

And listened as you poured your heart

And pride when you stepped onto the stage and spoke

Or played or acted

Or spiked that ball

I remember how rough around the edges you were

At the start

And I wondered

What would you become?

And the hours of worry

And prayer and wondering

Will you be ok?

And now

You are more

So much more than ok

And I’m glad that I could be here

to see you

complete

this stage. 

For ahead of you stretches

A path of multi weaving

Leading and taking you

Who but Father knows

I release you babes

Like arrows through the sphere

And you will be famous

A father or spouse

A leader, a teacher

Activist, entrepreneur

Doing things that will be

Unknown to me. 

But we had this time

And I poured into you now

And I can never forget

The difference that made.

The difference we all make

When we put others first.

Building and growing

The next generation of artillery.

Our capacity stretches far beyond who we are

And into those who drink

From our stream outpouring.

So be a fountain that quenches

A stream of life

For by your banks

Growth will be seen. 

Thank you babes,

For letting me be,

A small part of your life,

A piece of your legacy. 

!Dea Camp - Ideas for Involvement

The ‘One’ campaign released details from a study it did on those who were involved in their cause. The study revealed that of the entire Christian population, only 3% were involved in the campaign; of the secular or 'no faith' population, the number increased to 7%. Regardless of your religious tendency, these statistics highlight that very few in our society are seeking to make a difference. 


With a massive 150-200 millions orphans on the planet, can we afford for so few of us to be tackling this issue?

This is a collection of all the various ideas that were thrown around at the camp – look at the list: What fit your strengths? What draws you in? What ideas had you never thought of? What do you feel the spirit is drawing you towards?

// Practise vulnerability – be willing to be broken as you reach out to the vulnerable.

// Adoption

- Consider adoption. Not just as a back up plan if you cannot have children biologically, but as a way to build a family. You will attach to a child who lives with you 24/7 whether they are given to you through biology or adoption.

- If 1 person in every fourth church in America adopted domestically, there would be no more children needing adoption in the USA. Just ONE person/couple out of every four church congregations…

- Make sure your adoption is ethical, especially when it is international.

- Do not become anti-international adoption

- Encourage others to be adoptive parents

England: www.baaf.org.uk

USA: www.adoptionsbygladney.com

// Support those you know who are adopting:

- Help fundraise

- Provide rest opportunities for the parents as their family expands

- Be a listening ear

- Provide meals

- Pray for them

- Engage in their journey

// Foster care

- Consider being a safe place for local children to come to. A foster child/ren will stay anything from a few nights to over a year.

- Financial support is provided in both England and America for fostering

// Have your church participate in Orphan Sunday (November) where the plight of the worlds orphans are highlighted and opportunities to help provided.

// Ask your church to provide a monthly space to discuss, from the front, orphan care and how you can make a difference

// Find local agencies that support birth mothers who are placing their children for adoption and volunteer with them

// When on mission trips, seek to find out the stories behind the children you are speaking with

http://estherhavens.com/blog/

www.discoverthejourney.org

// Provide financial assistance to single parents/grandparents raising children

// When considering going on a mission trip to “help people” consider:

- Should I really be going on this trip: is it for me or for the people of that country? If it is more for you, then be open in that fact, and call it travel rather than a mission trip.

- Have a greater imagination of what could be done with the money for that trip

// Become a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate for a child) – you become an advocate for a child who has been removed from their home

http://www.becomeacasa.org/

// Visit the local children’s shelter

// Use your artistry/gifting (art, poetry, blogging, photography, music…) to highlight the cause of the orphan

// On visits abroad, help find sustainable work for orphans, rather than just giving them money

// Research child trafficking – be aware of what is going on – W.E. Dubois describes the “coward that does not know”.

www.love146.org

www.notforsalecampaign.org

// Don’t just support fundraising efforts – engage in the stories of those who are asking for money, as well the stories of those they are raising funds for

// Sponsor a child with Compassion International, World Vision or any other organisation

www.compassion.com

www.worldvision.org

// Support children in your area with special needs

// Become more aware of domestic violence in your community – face it, be available, know what to do, be an open door, fund the root cause, collaborate with others, encourage your church to teach it from the pulpit, support local programmes, use your gift to reach out to abused children.

// If you encounter Domestic Violence or Sexual abuse – be calm & stoic, listen, be a “Safe” adult, open and empathetic, report judiciously, compose a safety plan with those involved, do not try to “save” child/family or get over-involved, do not underestimate the abusers desire to “control” or suppress or avoid potential consequences, charm or violence, Believe those who speak to you and locate resources.

// Raise up godly fathers and husbands – Be a godly Father and husband

www.fathers.com

// Mentor the fatherless – find a fatherless child/teen and meet with them once a week to pour into their lives. Invest in them. Show them they are loved. Fill the gap.

www.fatherlessgeneration.com

www.fathershousetrust.com

Each of us most look inside ourselves, not look to the right or to the left, in order to decide what to do.

Remember, Orphan Care is a mandate to us ALL!

There is a need.

See it.

Respond to it.

It’s that simple.

Fyneas

Our community recently welcomed a beautiful boy:

Fyneas Wyn Powell

I remember fondly the New Orleans Mission trip Hannah Powell & I were on when she whispered that her and Matt were trying for baby # 3.

A few weeks later, as they announced their pregnancy (amidst a sea of horrific morning sickness), I mused on how Hannah was probably expectant as we talked…and how I had tirelessly worked a woman, laden with child.

Always keen to help, Steve and I volunteered to be on “kid duty”, babysitting Rhys & Carys when Hannah went into labour. Excitement filled my heart when my phone flashed up with Hannah’s name…when we heard news that she was 2, 4, 6 centimetres dilated…and then when Matt called and said:

“He is here.”

We raced the siblings to the hospital to see their new addition, marvelling at the excitement and blessing of new life.

To our surprise we were offered to hold Fyneas, trusted with this new life at such a young and fragile age. 

As Steve cradled him in his arms, he asked what time he had been born. 

The child in his arms was not even an hour old.

Someone asked later how Steve had ended up holding the baby so early on in its life.

I wondered the same question.

Yes I know I am married to him, but that makes me even more aware his skills. Of how he changed his first nappy (diaper) only 18 months ago and has seldom changed any since. Of how part of our honeymoon was spent with me explaining what a toilet brush was.

I am literally fearful of the day someone asks him to cut the umbilical cord between our child and me. I am certain my screams will be louder than the baby’s.  

Hannah words spoke wisely as to why she allowed Steve to hold the baby so early on:

“I think he needed to.”

At this time, when life seems so cruel and disease-ridden, Steve needed to see the other side.

How beautiful life is.

The potential of a lifetime held preciously in his arms.

The tininess of a body, perfectly formed.

The sheer dependency and expectancy of life.

The intricate construction of a foetus.

A Bump ever-growing underneath a loose shirt

Now a fully-fledged, alive, human.

The joy that comes in the beginning, when it feels as though time stands still for a minute, as even the angels marvel at the joy of the new.

Here.

Born.

Alive.

One of my besties, Freya, has been a great support through this time. One of the most affirming factors has been her continual talk of the cyclical nature of humanity.

A new life screams its arrival into the worlds as another, maybe just a few rooms away, closes their eyes for the very last time.

As cancer continues to try and grip Steve’s dad, his daughter Joy swells with the anticipation of a second born. 

This cycle continues, repeats, renews, every minute.

As Steve and I have openly talked of our plans to adopt, many have asked if we intend to have children of our “own” as well.

As I held Fyneas on Day 1, Day 2 and Day 4 (if I hadn’t been catching the plane to England, I think the Powell’s would have thrown me out of their house), there was a time on Day 4 I just didn’t want to let go.

His 8lb body next to my chest.

His sweetly swaddled body.

His gentle, peaceful reliance and vulnerability.

I could have sat there for a lifetime.

If Hannah had said, “You can have him” or “I can’t look after him any more”, I would have carried him out and loved him as my own, opening his eyes to the wonder of jerk chicken, America’s next top model, street dance and a remorseless competitive spirit. 

The grades of the children I help home school have been great, and one loves me helping her to study for tests, with my mix of press-ups and high fives as punishment and rewards.

In England I got an email saying she had 100 on a test and my heart leaped:

“My kid got 100%!!”

Our life is a revolving door of children and teens running into our arms, hugging & kissing, texting and calling. As I prepare for this year’s graduation, I am reminded that these seniors were just 8^th grade when I arrived in America.

“My babies are graduating high school.”

In our marriage statement we commited:

“…providing a loving and God-centred environment for all those who enter our home and our lives!!”

Whatever is placed before us, whatever is put into our hands, whatever we are entrusted with

Will.

Be.

Our.

Own.

And if the whole world belongs to Father God, if he is the author and creator of all, is anything “our own” to begin with, even if it comes from my womb?

As we saw numerous people at the !dea Camp comment upon and live out the journey of life with a child who has special needs, I felt that would be, for us, a step too far.

Something we couldn’t handle.

Something we don’t have the ability to handle.

Yet when recently we spent an afternoon looking after such a child, amidst the feeding tubes, limited speech and ankle injury, Steve remarked afterwards that he loved that time and his heart was opened to welcoming that kind of child into our home, if that’s how we were led.

Some may look at us as naïve 20 something’s.

Unaware of the full magnitude of all the things that we talk of.

Caught up in a fad.

And I accept these opinions.

Maybe even agree a little with some.

But know that there is one thing

A thing we

Embrace

Love

Fully understand

Are not naïve about

The sacred, precious, fragility

of Life.

And we seek to uphold that in all what we do.  

We will be naïve

Lacking worldly experience and understanding

Simple and guiless

Unsuspecting and credulous

Because people who are

Not burned by the hardness of this world

Unscathed by the expectations of others

Not settled into a predefined box

Step forward in an unrestrained freedom

Believing Father God can do great things.

Who knows what lives may be changed as a result.

 

!dea Camp - Preemptive Orphan Care and Development

These notes are from what was for the me the real "out of the box" sessions...creative ideas that hit to the heart of the orphan crisis internationally and made me realise that by meeting so many other needs, we preemptively stop there being more orphans. 

--------

COMMUNITY DEVELOPMENT

// Work to rebuild communities so that the children there can have a greater quality of life

// One family, who had adopted two children from Ethiopia, decided that they wanted to give back to the beautiful country that gave them two beautiful children

// This family are raise funds to transform the village - 27 water points, 3 school buildings, a library, a health clinic, and vet clinic as well as a bridge for the village of 6000.

//We need to think long term in transformational development

// Women in community desire to take care of these children – child sponsorship enables this to happen

SUSTAINABILITY

// When elder children age out of foster care, they are simply given money and sent out, creating crisis in their lives with no one to guide them

- They need to be taught money management, employment skills and how to find opportunities for themselves

// Don’t just give money, but provide opportunities for people in developing nations to work

// You cannot start something and then back out in a few years time – partnering with the local church is the only way for this to happen

AGRICULTURE

// Agriculture is important as we need to produce as much food in the next 40 years as we have produced in the past 8000 years because of the way the world has been changing in food consumption

// Approximately 1 billion suffer from chronic hunger – many of these are farmers

// The greatest limitation is access to resources – farmers need to be helped to develop and use relevant technology

// Sustainability and creating revenue is key to help build a model so that things can continue to grow.

// The need isn’t to help grow, but to create an actual liveable earning and economic model with added value

INTERNATIONAL CHURCHES

Note: An Ethiopian national who works with orphans delivered this talk

// The local church in a foreign country knows what they need better than a western church

// Get out of the way and let Father God lead

// Be willing to serve another person’s vision

// Use the systems already in place

// Do not get so involved in strategy that you forget narrative

// Family preservation needs to be a priority – this is what the children need.

- Keep with family

- Find adoption into the extended family

- if not family, then adopt into local community, so they can grow and be a productive part of their nation

 // Personal involvement is needed by Westerners (not just money & meeting material needs)

// Ethiopians have no idea on the theology of adoption – they don’t see the need – imagine if they were educated on it?

// Think about transferring the ownership to the churches and enabling them to take over – build their capacity. Help the church to say: “This is my project”.

Any surprises? Ever been guilty of the mentality that "West is Best" in terms of thinking and what you bring to the table to foreign countries? Had you thought about sustainability?

!dea Camp - Adoption & Foster Care

These are notes on the sessions specially addressing Adoption and Foster Care - this DEFINITELY gave us lots to think about...hopefully it will do the same for you. 

Our friends Emily & Moody who have a beautiful family including adoption

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ORPHAN CARE

// We cannot live the Christian American Dream

// We could get the statistics on adoption, but it is a simple Biblical principle

// Building programmes that are focussed on people’s gifting is wrong – begin with the needs of the children you are trying to help first!

// Every church should have Orphan Care

// “God sets the lonely in FAMILIES” (Psalm 68:6) – we should be seeking to children within families (whether through fostering or adoption)

// We cannot be satisfied with children living in orphanages, temporary places of transition; they need permanency.

// Man made orphanages for children, but God made families for children

// Jesus set it all aside to enter into our world. Enter into the pain of some of these children and lay aside our feelings.

// The church in the USA needs to work with the church globally to place children in homes permanently (family-like setting) – international adoption isn’t the only option

MEN

// Since the Garden of Eden, men have been passively stepping back. They need to step up.

// Adoptive should not be a back up plan for couples, but a normative idea

// Only 3% of husbands start the conversation of adoption – husbands should be the ones to start it off

// More things need to be shown from the father’s perspective – much of adoption is geared towards mothers

FOSTER CARE

// 115,000 children waiting for adoption through the Foster Care system

// Foster Care manages but does not solve the problems

// 42% of children who age out of foster care will be in the criminal courts by the age of 24

// Children in foster care are 3x less likely to graduate high school

// The older children in sibling groups are less likely to be adopted

// There is a high correlation between homelessness and being in foster care

// We cannot rely totally on our government – we have to engage in the community

// Where possible, children shouldn’t be moved to other parts of the state/town

// If considering foster care, you need to be prepared to have them for a season – anything from a few days until a few years. There will be an element of grief when this season ends. 

- random end thought from me - the BAAF (British Association for Adoption & Fostering) says the average age of an adoptive parent is 38...where are the younger people rising up to make a difference?? Could children benefit from having adoptive parents in their 20s too??

Artistry

The Friday evening session had a short talk, a “artists panel” interviewing a photographer, filmmaker & musician and then a band played, with videos of various things, and stories of how they had engaged in the orphan crisis including mission trips and both domestic & international adoption. The next day, a panel of bloggers met who discussed writing.

// We need to be open to interruptions. These will take the form of other humans, who when their stories invade our lives, we will change.

// The broken invites us into our own brokenness – the conversations about Orphan Care will drive us into the arms & hearts of Father God

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ARTIST PANEL

Esther Havens – Humanitarian Photographer – http://estherhavens.com/

Jonathan Olinger – Founder and Executive Director of Discover the Journey - www.discoverthejourney.org

Aaron Levy - Musician - http://aaronivey.com/

// If I meet someone who has a story and it’s not being told, I feel compelled to tell it.

// There is a difference between being a voyeur and a storyteller

// Everything comes down to relationship. Every injustice in the world can be traced back to a broken relationship.

// Story helps relationship…transport someone…encountering someone who isn’t the same…story…entering into someone else’s suffering and pain…that how we absorb the weight of pain, by listening to their story.

// It’s always the visual that stirs verbs, nouns & phrases

// The real artist is getting invested in the soil…real art is created when you are engaging in the story. This is what Jesus did for us – met us where we were in our suffering.

// Art speaks on multiple levels but facts speak on just one.

// Not everything is for everyone to experience. Not everything is meant to become a song.

AARON LEVY BAND

// Art…to stir the heart of man towards God

// Adoption is the most tangible expression of salvation that we have

// We are all just broken people in need of God

// The need is great, but what we see with our eyes is what we are responsible for

WRITING

// Story is what makes our relationships

// People respond when they know (a) our story & (b) they are told the stories of those affected. Both of these stories are important.

// There is a real authenticity that people are craving. When you are authentic, people trust you enough to go with you on this journey

// Sometimes we give a boldness/intimacy on social media that we wouldn’t have in normal conversation. Keep it natural

// Value that you bring something because of the unique gifting that Father has given you. Everyone should be ok with whatever God has asked you to write. Stay true to your voice.

// Don’t try and tie everything up in a bow and “complete” it.

// Whose story am I telling?? It is one thing to tell what I am going through. It is a totally other thing to tell my husband’s/friend’s/families story

// It is important to always give hope.

// Timing is key. Tell a story when there’s a lesson to be learnt, not just for the sake of it.