Life After Mission

We were asked by St. Germain's Church, one of our biggest supporters throughout our time on Pais, to write an article for their mission newsletter on "Life After Mission": what our experience has been returning as missionaries from another country. We are publishing this article to stay authentic and show our experience, as well as encourage/forewarn those who are moving on from Pais this year as they step out. 

S&S

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After 4-5 years of living and working in America with The Pais Project in the USA, we packed up and moved back to England in September 2011. Much is made of the transition when a missionary first leaves for a country: raising finances to set up a new life, adjusting to culture shock, starting a new position and understanding your new organisation are a few of the enormous tasks to be tackled. Returning from mission on the other hand seems a much simpler affair: typically you are returning to the same country and city you were originally from, with many family and friends surrounding you, thus adjustment should be minimal.

But this is far from the case.

Spending so many years in Arlington, Texas gave us a very strong base of friends who lived close to us, whom we didn’t know what married life was like without.

Weeks were spent emotionally packing, selling and throwing out personal items in order to condense our life into a few suitcases.

We arrived back with no jobs, little finances and no home of our own, with Sebrina moving to a city she had never lived in before and 90 miles from the security of her own family and most of her best friends.

And on top of this all, Steve’s father was suffering with brain cancer.

We were thankful for advice we had before leaving from multiple sources that this transition would undoubtedly be harder than we could anticipate and would test us emotionally and spiritually. But nothing fully prepares you for the actuality of the situation. On reflection, these are our main thoughts on moving back home and starting “Life After Mission.”

You find even the smallest things overwhelming

Banking. Food shopping. Using public transport. Paying bills.

Simple everyday things that are completely different in Texas in comparison to England.

Having acclimatised so well to Texan culture, and despite England being our home, we felt we have to get re-used to everything again. Frustrations often built when we couldn’t quite master or understand the system and we felt like we had to ask for help with the most basic of things. Slowly we got readjusted to the new way of living and found systems that worked for us, but we had to power through the “overwhelmed” feeling.

You question whether you made the best decision

In the Old Testament, when things went badly for an individual (eg. Job) it is assumed that they have sinned in some way: Job’s friends gathered around him begging him to confess some dreadful sin he had done. The grace of Jesus and the nature of the sinful world that we live in shows us today that this is warped theology, but we can’t help but wonder what we did wrong when things don’t go our way. Despite emotional support from family, friends and St Germain’s church, things often spiralled out of our control and we couldn’t settle as well as we assumed we would. The situation was overpowering, creating lots of tears and questioning about whether moving was the best situation. We knew that it had been a prayerful decision over the course of 18 months, but we needed constant reminders of this in order to be confident in the difficult situation we had found ourselves in.

You worry about the work you have left behind

Having spent so much energy, time and love investing in our roles, and more importantly individuals, leaving was hard. We had clearly communicated our departure in advance but still there were difficulties in our transition. Pais had not been able to find a replacement for Steve’s role as quickly as expected. The Co-National director of Pais:USA was suffering an undiagnosed illness thus the leadership was stretched with extra responsibilities. Some students, despite our best efforts, were connected solely to us and not the wider church thus felt too much of a gap when we left. The wonders of the internet meant that we could talk regularly to all those we missed, but sometimes that made it worse, making us more aware of issues that were going on back in Texas. You slowly have to manage not stopping in your care of those in your old place, but not letting that care consume you and make you feel unnecessarily guilty about situations beyond your control. It becomes a time of learning to depend on the fact that Father God is completely sovereign over all the earth.

You question your spiritual purpose now you aren’t officially in “ministry”

The apostle Paul talks of the body of Christ and the role each of us have to play within it. With the status ‘missionary’ you have great ease finding this role as it is placed upon you: you have a job title, responsibilities, people dependent upon you, events to organise, teaching to plan…your spiritual purpose it seems is clearly laid out when you are in ministry. Suddenly, back home after mission, everything changes: Sunday services aren’t dependent upon you, you haven’t got the set people you are meeting, mid-week events occur whether or not you are there to start or finish them. The lack of responsibility and new found freedom can affect people in two different ways. On one side, you could become revitalised and refreshed, feeling free to try something new and enjoy church more because you now have more of a choice about whether or not you attend. On the other hand, it can leave you confused and feeling redundant, unneeded and unsure of where or if to serve. Both of us have felt both sides of this coin, but are slowly moving into a place of exploring what new things await us in regards to our ministry. One of the great blessings for both of us has been suddenly thrust into a work environment filled with different faiths and we have gladly relished this opportunity which is not afforded to you when you work entirely in a Christian team.

‘Life After Mission’ is a mess of emotions, thoughts and practicalities. At times it can feel that you will never be settled back in, or be able to stop these conflicting emotions. Slowly though, you realise that there is no such thing as “life after mission” – we are all called to a certain place, at a certain time, for a certain purpose, and there are people in our spheres of influence crying out for us to reach out to them, to see them as our mission field, right on our very doorsteps. The thing that people struggle most with in life are transitions, and moving from a different country and completely changing job and responsibility are two transitions combined that have the potential to break an unsupported individual or family. Our prayer, is that Father God will lead all of us to be more aware of those who are experiencing transitions around us, and to find practical ways to support them as they traverse their new life.

Barefoot

The previous nights storm continues to provide me discomfort.

Not enough to wake me multiple times during the night,

She abandons a gift of

A pile of mud and leaves besides the door of the car

For me to traverse

The cold morning breeze shivers my body,

Still pajamad

I place a sweater on top

But still

The frozen feet shiver

A friend’s home

A place of solace and comfort each Tuesday night

Today welcomes me

With pines

Sticks

Jabs

To soft, tender skin

Ceramic tile of bathroom floor

The joy of reading the newspaper

My place of relaxation

Instead

I scan the floor for germ-filled drops

Inside the cosiness of home

I write, make calls, type

Body dressed snug

Toes wiggle in desperation for warmth

Longing for socks

Entering restaurant and scanning menu

Eyes look at me

Well not me

But my

My barefeet

I am uncomfortable

I am cold

I am in pain

I am exposed

My humanity is exposed

Through my

Bare Feet

But this was just two days

And I drove and was inside a lot

But this

This vulnerability

Is Yours,

My child,

Everyday

You walk dirt tracks of

Pain

Knowing nothing

Of anything else

Empathy is not enough.




www.toms.com

!Dea Camp - Ideas for Involvement

The ‘One’ campaign released details from a study it did on those who were involved in their cause. The study revealed that of the entire Christian population, only 3% were involved in the campaign; of the secular or 'no faith' population, the number increased to 7%. Regardless of your religious tendency, these statistics highlight that very few in our society are seeking to make a difference. 


With a massive 150-200 millions orphans on the planet, can we afford for so few of us to be tackling this issue?

This is a collection of all the various ideas that were thrown around at the camp – look at the list: What fit your strengths? What draws you in? What ideas had you never thought of? What do you feel the spirit is drawing you towards?

// Practise vulnerability – be willing to be broken as you reach out to the vulnerable.

// Adoption

- Consider adoption. Not just as a back up plan if you cannot have children biologically, but as a way to build a family. You will attach to a child who lives with you 24/7 whether they are given to you through biology or adoption.

- If 1 person in every fourth church in America adopted domestically, there would be no more children needing adoption in the USA. Just ONE person/couple out of every four church congregations…

- Make sure your adoption is ethical, especially when it is international.

- Do not become anti-international adoption

- Encourage others to be adoptive parents

England: www.baaf.org.uk

USA: www.adoptionsbygladney.com

// Support those you know who are adopting:

- Help fundraise

- Provide rest opportunities for the parents as their family expands

- Be a listening ear

- Provide meals

- Pray for them

- Engage in their journey

// Foster care

- Consider being a safe place for local children to come to. A foster child/ren will stay anything from a few nights to over a year.

- Financial support is provided in both England and America for fostering

// Have your church participate in Orphan Sunday (November) where the plight of the worlds orphans are highlighted and opportunities to help provided.

// Ask your church to provide a monthly space to discuss, from the front, orphan care and how you can make a difference

// Find local agencies that support birth mothers who are placing their children for adoption and volunteer with them

// When on mission trips, seek to find out the stories behind the children you are speaking with

http://estherhavens.com/blog/

www.discoverthejourney.org

// Provide financial assistance to single parents/grandparents raising children

// When considering going on a mission trip to “help people” consider:

- Should I really be going on this trip: is it for me or for the people of that country? If it is more for you, then be open in that fact, and call it travel rather than a mission trip.

- Have a greater imagination of what could be done with the money for that trip

// Become a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate for a child) – you become an advocate for a child who has been removed from their home

http://www.becomeacasa.org/

// Visit the local children’s shelter

// Use your artistry/gifting (art, poetry, blogging, photography, music…) to highlight the cause of the orphan

// On visits abroad, help find sustainable work for orphans, rather than just giving them money

// Research child trafficking – be aware of what is going on – W.E. Dubois describes the “coward that does not know”.

www.love146.org

www.notforsalecampaign.org

// Don’t just support fundraising efforts – engage in the stories of those who are asking for money, as well the stories of those they are raising funds for

// Sponsor a child with Compassion International, World Vision or any other organisation

www.compassion.com

www.worldvision.org

// Support children in your area with special needs

// Become more aware of domestic violence in your community – face it, be available, know what to do, be an open door, fund the root cause, collaborate with others, encourage your church to teach it from the pulpit, support local programmes, use your gift to reach out to abused children.

// If you encounter Domestic Violence or Sexual abuse – be calm & stoic, listen, be a “Safe” adult, open and empathetic, report judiciously, compose a safety plan with those involved, do not try to “save” child/family or get over-involved, do not underestimate the abusers desire to “control” or suppress or avoid potential consequences, charm or violence, Believe those who speak to you and locate resources.

// Raise up godly fathers and husbands – Be a godly Father and husband

www.fathers.com

// Mentor the fatherless – find a fatherless child/teen and meet with them once a week to pour into their lives. Invest in them. Show them they are loved. Fill the gap.

www.fatherlessgeneration.com

www.fathershousetrust.com

Each of us most look inside ourselves, not look to the right or to the left, in order to decide what to do.

Remember, Orphan Care is a mandate to us ALL!

There is a need.

See it.

Respond to it.

It’s that simple.

Tug

I am working on changing my guilt into action

Over the past few years, I think a mindset has instilled within me that unless I am doing a big thing, I am doing nothing.

Competitive Texans say: "Go big or Go Home."


When I haven't been able to do something big, i have shyed away, believing I won't make a different.
Cautious about helping with families that are well-off Christians because surely there are people with more need than them.
Not sure about helping in programs that only have 7 girls in them as with my experience, I should be working with groups of 50, 70, 100 or even 1000.
Worried that the times I think Father is speaking to me and then I write a cuple of pages, that they are merely words with no power.

I have come to this point:

Father God deserves a person who does what is laid before them. 


Each of us has something; a leaning, a gifting, a preference.

We will make an impact on the world around us.
That world may stretch 5 miles. It may stretch 500. It may stretch 5000.

But it stretches.

Jesus said: "The harvest is plentiful but the labourers are few."


Maybe that is because the labourers thought that the work set before them was too small, too unimportant, and went looking for a bigger field.

The people around you deserve your help.

I know a story of a shepherd who had 100 sheep but discovered one was missing. He left the flock in search of the one, found it and rejoiced with his friends and neighbours.

A massive party, for one being helped.
One being rescued
One being saved.

Because one searched within their community, looked around, and saw help was needed.

Your help.



Hannah loves romance. 


In my first year month of university she told me, "Don't date in your first year - its the time you work out who you are, and you can't find that in another person."
She explored the intimate relationship Father wants with us, but we seek out in the arms of the 'wrong-but-right-there' person.
This passion has led her to teach in Welsh schools and youth groups about sex & relationships and now move further afield to Zambia in Africa.

This is her tug

Luke loves mental health. 


There is something about schizophrenia in minority ethnic communities that fascinates him, inspiring him to gain understanding and answers to help the community around him.

Led to do a pHD, he tirelessly studies and undergoes ethnographical research to play a part in changing his community.

This is his world.

Anna loves women. 


A fierce protector of those with the XX chromosome and their children, she has worked tirelessly in shelters for the abused, social work and Sure Start centres to support them through hard times.

She not only knows the statistics of domestic violence, she knows the faces.

This is her pull.

Dan loves music. 


His crazy talent for both playing and composing, allow him to write melodies that say everything you were thinking. When he leads worship, the Holy Spirit sweeps in. He isn't interested in the status of being a world famous musician; he's interested in hearts connecting with their heavenly creator.

This is his mission.




I remember a couple of years ago, organizing a crazy sports day with our friends, and we had a Tug-O-War.
I had rope burn for the following week, such was a my sheer determination to win, combined with my freakish man strength.
I put everything I had into that pull.

Your world, your community, your house, your street, your school, your city
Deserves
Your tug.

Steve declared during university to a group of friends that his life goals were simply to be "a great husband and a great father." I remember discussing this, deriding him for "not thinking big enough" and pushing him to think about more things he wanted to achieve, naively believing i was somehow superior with my ambitions of world domination.

One person, on hearing Steve's goals, said:
"You will achieve that in a few years - you need to have something bigger."


But to look at the disintegration of family in our modern society, for a man to make a vocal stand, to declare a fervent desire above all else to be the best father and husband possible, one would clearly see that this is no small task, nor something of unimportance.

Steve and I love families.
We love our mummies, daddies, brothers & sisters, cousins, grandma's etc, but we also love the wider concept of "family" as well as community. We desire to turn dysfunction into delight, to step in the gap of of single-parent homes and orphaned children.
With no kids of our own, we somehow end up on museum trips, teaching English to children, cooking dinners and babysitting kids, watching Disney DVDS and talking with parents on how to raise children. One time, we asked some parents if their kids could stay over at our house so we could build a fort with them; I let the girls try on my wedding dress while Steve drew schematics and taught on construction techniques.

Before Christmas, Father God laid before me two opportunities to help families - to support a homeschooling family, with four adorable children, three times a week, and to volunteer in Fort Worth with an after-school program with seven beautiful African-American girls, picked because they are from single-parent homes and need encouragement.

I grab them with open arms, excited and expectant.

Repeatedly Steve and I have been led to people, conversations, books, blogs, tv shows and other things that have talked of orphans, adoptions, fostering...this week I felt Father God clearly say that I need to put aside my utopia picture of two biological children, that fit neatly into a compact car, and prepare our home that will, in His perfect timing, open its doors to multiple children from multiple backgrounds.

It won't fit neatly.
It won't be tidy.

But as it always is with us,
it will be an adventure.

This is our tug.

"To be a great husband and a great father."


"Bolding seeking Father first, to be made more and more into his likeness; unconditionally loving each other while providing a loving and God-centered environment for all those who enter our home and our lives."


"To love our neighbour as we love ourselves."


Imagine if Steve's goals stirred men to make the bed they lie in, and maybe even bring breakfast to it.
Inspired men to give their families time not money.
Encouraged them to keep their vows of fidelity.
Motived them to see the pleasure of monogamy.

Your tug could make breaking news.

Accra

24 hours in Ghana is a like a lifetime of fun, beauty, joy, spirit-filled wonderful ness...I already know there will be tears leaving this amazing place with these beautiful people...


I feel something is coming...I have got words from Father that I am desperate to share with these guys but already I am learning so much from them, especially the Ghanaians - they have a strong, deep connection with Father and it overspills with enthusiasm to all around


I really feel that Father is going to show me more of Himself - I already feel as if He has - I don't want a "mission trip high" where I come and experience this and go back excited for a few days and then it fades like a cheap fake tan...I want something that deeply and eternally changes me.


At Accra airport after no immigration or customs problems, we were greeted by several of the team. As we left the airport, the haggling, bartering and people desperate to push your cart in return for some cedi (ghanaian currency) reminded me of Jamaica this summer and the desperation of peole to make money - for some i imagine their fulltime job is loitering, hopign to get a few lucky breaks from wealthy tourists or locals.


As we arrived at the guest house (where all 20 apprentices, directors and support staff have been and will continue to stay for training) i was impressed that they all came down to greet us despite our late arrival - some were even in pyjamas.


A culture, it seems, has already been set, of honouring your leaders, and I already feel a great sense of appreciation that we are here, when I feel appreciative of this honour to be with them.


Over a late dinner some of the team gave their first impressions.


1. I LOVED their hearts and willingness to share. 
2. It is evident that Ghana is a prayer-drive, spirit-filled environment - some of the team wake at 2am or 4am to pray together (the Ghanaian team members only - the "foreigners" are getting over their jetlag/getting used to such passion at all times of day).


Warned that church would be three hours long, four and a half hours into the service I was still dancing away, making notes, taking pictures, clapping my hands, excited and enthralled by the dancing in the aisles in celebration of giving offering or just sheer joy, the amazing professionalism and skill of the worship team, as well as their willingness to go with the flow of the spirit, the passion of the pastor as they introduced the Pais teams on stage...wow...I don't understand why every church in the world doesn't worship like this when we claim to believe in the same God as these people.


Tomorrow sees Steve, Gail and I each deliver our first sessions...EXCITED to get going and just pour into the beautiful team!!


Thanks to God for:

• Picked up the right "Gail" (Gail is joining us from Accrington in England - 40-year-old married mother of one, never been to Africa, doesn't know that much about Pais, ex-school teacher, saw Paul advertise that he wanted someone to help with Pais:Ghana training and responded after her trip to Mozambique was cancelled, dead excited, a real asset to the team!!)
• Safe arrival
• Baggage all came
• The team is AMAZING
• Fantastic time in church today - Harvest Chapel International, a new partner church in Accra - EXTREMELY welcoming and excited to have Pais
• Great unity/cohesion with the team

Things to pray for:

• Safety & health, for us and the new apprentices acclimatizing to Ghana
• Unity amongst the team
• Excellence, clarity & energy in the teaching of our seminars
• Support for Mawunyo
• Inspiring 1st year apprentices to rise up early on and commit to staying for more than a year on Pais in Ghana
• Great talks with Mawunyo and Royalhouse Chapel International pastors about future plans
• Seeing more of God
• Openness to whatever Father would speak to us about

Thanks so much to all the supporters who gave financially to make this possibility - believe me your money isn't being wasted!!

Wish you could be here...but pray that my notes will open your eyes to see more than just these words. 

HUGS

LOVE YOU ALL!!

Adventure

There is never a dull moment in the Miller Household...
...And there is never a still moment when you are looking to follow Father God.

Our latest random journey takes us to...GHANA!!

In September 2008, Pais set up its first African nation in Accra, Ghana. The first team has three people, last year's team rose to ten; hopefully this years team will have more. The previous teams have seen incredible fruit, working in eight local schools, teaching hundreds weekly and bringing many into relationships with Father. They have also done outreaches, in partnership with the local church, into the nieighbouring poorer villages to bring supplies, medical aid and practically meet other needs.

The nation is led by Mawunyo Debrah, who was on Pais:USA 07/08 in Arlington at the same church as us. We both got to know her extremely well – she is a hardcore prayer warrior, often staying up through the night to pray for her teams, and is so faithful in all that she does. Though she has worked hard, the one area she has struggled in is long-term leadership to come alongside her. This upcoming year, everyone on the team will be new to Pais:Ghana, with only one person having done Pais previously (another familiar face – Carmen, who was on the team Steve led 08/09!). 

Previously, all of the Ghanaian missionaries had to travel to the UK to complete their Foundational Training. With such a large cost, this training excluded many of the apprentices from receiving the much needed training. This year, she has taken the bold step to provide the Foundational Training in Ghana, for her new teams. However, that is a large undertaking for her to complete by herself. 

Mawunyo’s need is simple – she needs help organizing and running Foundational Training.

With both of our experience on Pais, and with Steve’s specific expertise in running conferences and training apprentices, we both jumped at the opportunity to go out and practically help. 


Our need is simple - we need prayer and financial support. 


The rundown of our trip is as follows:

• Travel dates: September 3rd-September 15th, 2010 (yes, in less than a month's time!!)
• Trip cost: $4,300/£2,700 (this includes flight, visa, yellow fever vaccinations, malaria tablets, and a contingency fund - all food, transport, accommodation and activities are provided by Pais:Ghana)
• Role: Before - helping the planning of the conference (this has already begun)
• Role: During - delivering Pais training and supporting Mawunyo and the apprentices. 

We need to book our flights by Friday August 13th so that we can apply for our visas in time.

If you can help financially support us please contact us by email (sebrinamiller@gmail.com or stevemiller@paisproject.com) and let us know how much you are able to donate (so we can keep track of our current balance) and how you would like to pay (cash, US check, UK check, paypal or direct bank deposit for both our US & UK banks)

We know this is a very last-minute thing, but we really feel this is what God is calling us to do. For those of you who don’t know, Sebrina recently resigned from her role on Pais. She was offered a job with an adoption agency, but after three weeks of planning, visa issues meant that she was unable to take the role. This was extremely upsetting to us both, but we trusted that God was in control. Had the job gone ahead, we would not have both been able to do this trip, so we are seeing the blessing despite the storm. We are really excited for the impact that we can make on the teams and the blessing that we will be to Mawunyo. Please keep us and Pais:Ghana in our prayers.

Looking forward to hearing from you – please email us your thoughts and encouragements!!

Steve & Sebrina

Era

Sometimes there’s just a restlessness, a gut feeling you can’t shake that seems to say its time to move on but you don’t really know what is next so you don’t understand the feeling, and question whether its just you being silly or God on the move (or possibly indigestion).

After four years serving in roles for both Pais:USA and Pais:Global, my (full-time) journey with The Pais Project is over. I will still be involved in random ways in the ministry, Steve will still be serving with them so it’s a given I will help out, but my last official day was June 25th. 

After seeking God and hearing him speak in several ways (some weird!) I realized it was time to step out, but was absolutely petrified. Father had talked to me about “broad paths” and “wide spaces” and “open places” but I didn’t know how anything would work out: visa, finances, transport…but sometimes you have to jump anyways. 

And Father God, as always, has been faithful and supplied.

I decided that I would use my time in England and Jamaica to think through what was the next step, and come back and look up jobs. We downsized to an apartment saving a significant amount of money, to prepare ourselves for the potentially financially-tight months ahead (as if the past four years haven’t been like that anyway!). But before we even left, a friend mentioned a job and I was asked to send in my resume (for which I needed to write one first…). I was asked to come in for an interview at 10am on the day our flight for England left at 4pm, and got on to the plane thinking “that was a good experience but I don’t expect much to come from it”. Fastforward to the day we arrive back, and I get a call saying the job is mine if I want it. 

Overwhelmed is not the word.

So I am (soon to be) the Weekday House Parent at the Gladney Center for Adoption, serving birth mothers who are staying in the dorms as they prepare to place their child for adoption. With space on campus for up to 30 prenant women, who will range in aged from early teens to early/mid forties, my job title states my role as:

Providing a comfortable, harmonious climate for day-to-day living, attempting to be a substitute parent and a positive role model for the young women.

I am petrified, not least as I do my preliminary reading of “What to Expect when you’re Expecting” (I am second in command if a girl goes into labour!), I am overwhelmed that Father is giving me this opportunity to be hands-on with these vulnerable young women who are going through what can only be described as one of the most beautiful yet painful things in the world – spending nine months caring for a baby, to then bless another family with that life. 

There are so many prayer points:
– Visa change over as quickly as possible so I can start working
– A car (preferably cute and small with good gas mileage for my 25 min drive to/from work)
– Training/Reading in advance of the role

Amidst these concerns I am reminded of one of my favourite lines in the bible that says we should be “careless in the care of God”. I am also reminded that these things are small change, little speed bumps to traverse, compared to the more weightier matter of reaching these women, supporting them, being an advocate for them, and helping them through this period of life.

And bringing them the hope and love of a Father who cares for them.

I am nervous, excited, overwhelmed, worried, scared, apprehensive..

But I’m passionate about people. I’m passionate about being a person who brings change for the better into people’s lives.

There are people, I believe, who will never simply walk to an event at a church or just make friends with a Christian because of a fear of judgement.

And these are the people I feel it is my job to seek out and find. To go to their places. To meet them where they are at.

And so I jump into this next stage, this new era, wholeheartedly, knowing that if Father God worked all these crazy situations together and got me this job without me even trying or seeking it out, then there must be a great reason that He wants me there. 

Boomtown.