Dear Baby Miller - part 2

Dear Baby Miller,

Sweet merciful Zeus, you are due tomorrow!!

And by due, Mummy means this is the expected day of arrival, marking exactly one year since Mummy and Daddy arrived back from America, and Mummy will probably ball her eyes out and be devastated if you don’t come on our special day.

Welcome to the world of Miller family pressure.

There’s so much Mummy feels she wants to impart to you, teach you, brainwash you with on your arrival, but this little letter contains one of the most important lessons you’ll need:

“Don’t take things on face value.”

Mummy is the one people usually meet first.

When Mummy enters a room, people know she has arrived. Her loudness prevails, alongside her over-friendliness and penchant for inappropriate jokes at inappropriate times.

Mummy is the crazy, charismatic, over-zealous one with a wooing tendency.

But wooing people only gets you so far.

People need consistency, character, faithfulness, and endurance.

They need sensitivity and understanding, and genuine love.

And that’s why we have this guy:

People make jokes about “pre-Mummy” Daddy:

Wild, curly hair, a wardrobe consisting entirely of baggy jeans/cargo shorts, red t-shirts and baseball caps.

Don’t get Mummy wrong; she is aware of the high standard of work. She single-handedly transformed Daddy from a vagabond band roadie to a professional looking hottie:

But the truth is, Daddy has done a deeper transformation on Mummy.

Teaching Mummy to listen.

Showing Mummy how issues can be dealt with without extreme confrontation.

Learning to enjoy the quiet.

Becoming more patient with people and their issues.

Truly putting Father God first and seeking after Him in everything.

Being someone of true integrity.

Genuinely loving others.

Not being afraid to trust and open up to people.

Every step of Mummy’s difficult pregnancy, Daddy has been there.

Supportingly taking Mummy’s hand to walk her everywhere.

Rushing from work to get to midwife and scan appointments.

Reassuring texts of love throughout the day.

Pulling back Mummy’s hair to puke in the mornings.

Bringing breakfast in bed when Mummy was too weak to go downstairs.

Waking in the middle of the night to readjust the duvet each time Mummy returned from the toilet.

Buying Mummy skittles, ginger beer, Chinese takeaway and anything else random she craved/whined about.

You are blessed for so many reasons, with an amazing family and so many people praying for you and eagerly awaiting your arrival; for the fact you have been so healthy so far; for the hand of God already showing itself upon your life providing for you in miraculous ways.

But Mummy weeps at how blessed you are by the amazing Father you have been given.
Because I know how powerful a thing that is a child’s life, and it will change the trajectory of your life.

Some people look and think that Mummy is the boss, the head of it all.

Like I said, don’t take things on face value.

The truth is, while Mummy has carried you, Daddy has carried Mummy.

See you tomorrow.

xxx

Fragile

You hate to be the “fun sucker”

The one who sits on the other side of the fence head in hands

Sulky face

While others run circus style

With joy and laughter

And hope

And point at you wondering why you

Insist on being so dull

Not joining the party

But you sulk and whine

Attempting to disguise

Sadness at the fact

The tear-stained cheeks

At the party’s strict guest list

And you’re can’t possibly be on it

Because you don’t have a dad.

In family portrait where biological father should be

Stands shadow of a man

I do not know

Cannot know

Will never know

Would not delight to know

For what would a coward of a man

Defiantly and flippantly

turning back on responsibility

Possible have

To offer me

I am not his daughter.

Mother does what mother should

Arms wide, full of love

Shopping trips with bargains

Late night gossips over hot chocolate

At home relaxer mishaps and remedies on scarred skin

Cooks well enough to feed both stomach

And heart

But mother cannot do what father should

For that is not her role

That is not her portion

That is not her blame

For she held the bike as I nervously stumbled

Traipsed to parent teacher meetings alone

Taught half-naked toddler to read and write

And took my arm and gave it away

Entrusting into arms of a man she deemed fit enough

 A man who wouldn’t leave me behind.

You see,

The fatherless heart is a precious thing

Broken so early on

Barely even functional

Stone walls surround

Yet bribes are taken

For despite how much I know I can’t trust

And don’t want to be vulnerable

A smile and promise can lead you in

But cement lines show

New layers added

As promises are proven to be empty

I am blessed for in the gap

So many have stepped into

Willing to take the place where one wouldn’t go

For years or for seasons

They have shaped me

And weaved me

Mended me

Resuscitated me

Blank field on birth certificate proves a painful reminder

But I choose

To twist it around

Words of a teacher

Etched in my heart:

“He doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.”

For I am a joy

A princess

A jewel

Worthy of so many crowns

A fighter back in the ring

For “fatherless” will not be my definition

Not my crutch

Nor my excuse

For phoenix rises from ashes

Of statistics and stereotypes

To prove I am more than enough

And though earthly situations

Led to spiritual deformations

And I struggled to trust

In a Father who cared

Who would stick around long-term

Fulfilling his word

Oh Father God you have shown yourself strong.

My past has shaped,

But it will not dictate.

So today, will you not

Dry the tear

And be around 

And sit and support

The ones just like me.

For we are a fragile kind,

In need of a unshakeable Father.

------ 

Happy Father's Day

Father's, Step-dad's, Adoptive Fathers, Papa's, Grandpa's, Pops', G-Pa's, Uncle's, Foster dad's, Cousin's, Mentors, big brother's, men of the community....never forget what a difference you make in the life of a child, just by simply being there...

...without you, they would be fatherless. 

!Dea Camp - Ideas for Involvement

The ‘One’ campaign released details from a study it did on those who were involved in their cause. The study revealed that of the entire Christian population, only 3% were involved in the campaign; of the secular or 'no faith' population, the number increased to 7%. Regardless of your religious tendency, these statistics highlight that very few in our society are seeking to make a difference. 


With a massive 150-200 millions orphans on the planet, can we afford for so few of us to be tackling this issue?

This is a collection of all the various ideas that were thrown around at the camp – look at the list: What fit your strengths? What draws you in? What ideas had you never thought of? What do you feel the spirit is drawing you towards?

// Practise vulnerability – be willing to be broken as you reach out to the vulnerable.

// Adoption

- Consider adoption. Not just as a back up plan if you cannot have children biologically, but as a way to build a family. You will attach to a child who lives with you 24/7 whether they are given to you through biology or adoption.

- If 1 person in every fourth church in America adopted domestically, there would be no more children needing adoption in the USA. Just ONE person/couple out of every four church congregations…

- Make sure your adoption is ethical, especially when it is international.

- Do not become anti-international adoption

- Encourage others to be adoptive parents

England: www.baaf.org.uk

USA: www.adoptionsbygladney.com

// Support those you know who are adopting:

- Help fundraise

- Provide rest opportunities for the parents as their family expands

- Be a listening ear

- Provide meals

- Pray for them

- Engage in their journey

// Foster care

- Consider being a safe place for local children to come to. A foster child/ren will stay anything from a few nights to over a year.

- Financial support is provided in both England and America for fostering

// Have your church participate in Orphan Sunday (November) where the plight of the worlds orphans are highlighted and opportunities to help provided.

// Ask your church to provide a monthly space to discuss, from the front, orphan care and how you can make a difference

// Find local agencies that support birth mothers who are placing their children for adoption and volunteer with them

// When on mission trips, seek to find out the stories behind the children you are speaking with

http://estherhavens.com/blog/

www.discoverthejourney.org

// Provide financial assistance to single parents/grandparents raising children

// When considering going on a mission trip to “help people” consider:

- Should I really be going on this trip: is it for me or for the people of that country? If it is more for you, then be open in that fact, and call it travel rather than a mission trip.

- Have a greater imagination of what could be done with the money for that trip

// Become a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate for a child) – you become an advocate for a child who has been removed from their home

http://www.becomeacasa.org/

// Visit the local children’s shelter

// Use your artistry/gifting (art, poetry, blogging, photography, music…) to highlight the cause of the orphan

// On visits abroad, help find sustainable work for orphans, rather than just giving them money

// Research child trafficking – be aware of what is going on – W.E. Dubois describes the “coward that does not know”.

www.love146.org

www.notforsalecampaign.org

// Don’t just support fundraising efforts – engage in the stories of those who are asking for money, as well the stories of those they are raising funds for

// Sponsor a child with Compassion International, World Vision or any other organisation

www.compassion.com

www.worldvision.org

// Support children in your area with special needs

// Become more aware of domestic violence in your community – face it, be available, know what to do, be an open door, fund the root cause, collaborate with others, encourage your church to teach it from the pulpit, support local programmes, use your gift to reach out to abused children.

// If you encounter Domestic Violence or Sexual abuse – be calm & stoic, listen, be a “Safe” adult, open and empathetic, report judiciously, compose a safety plan with those involved, do not try to “save” child/family or get over-involved, do not underestimate the abusers desire to “control” or suppress or avoid potential consequences, charm or violence, Believe those who speak to you and locate resources.

// Raise up godly fathers and husbands – Be a godly Father and husband

www.fathers.com

// Mentor the fatherless – find a fatherless child/teen and meet with them once a week to pour into their lives. Invest in them. Show them they are loved. Fill the gap.

www.fatherlessgeneration.com

www.fathershousetrust.com

Each of us most look inside ourselves, not look to the right or to the left, in order to decide what to do.

Remember, Orphan Care is a mandate to us ALL!

There is a need.

See it.

Respond to it.

It’s that simple.