Open

Touchdown landing

In a place I don’t recognize.

New people bustle around my new home

Bare feet hit earth unfelt before

Tingling, surprised, nervous.

This is it.

Horizon stretches far beyond the eye

Free from constraints, free from your man-made boundaries

your legalistic rules

your fence

your laws.

I step into it.

I tried to run but invisible string kept me back

From what I wanted

What I saw

What my hearts passion cried out for.

But those strings no longer will rule.

My feet, bare yet scarred

Walk that first

Timid

Step.

Anxiety seeks to devour me

But your bite marks will not consume me

Nor rule me

In your freedom I walk

In this new space

Wide place

Open path

Broad dream

And You smile.

(Poem inspired by reading: Psalm 31 v 8, Psalm 18 v 9 & Psalm 18 v 36)

You

You don’t know what they did to me.

The lies.

The pain.

The cheat.

The agony.

The hurt.

The broken trust.

The time I spent pouring into them.

The time I spent investing.

The effort.

And for what?

This.

You don’t understand

what they did to me

I don’t know if I can trust again

See them again

Be with them again

Its gone

There’s no hope

And you want me to say its ok.

I’ve moved on.

I’m fine.

Don’t worry about it.

Its not a big deal.

Then I would be no better than them because I would be a liar.

A cheat.

A deceiver.

And that’s not who I am.

I am better.

And I won’t forgive.

I can’t forgive.

Its impossible.

Its easy for you but not for me.

Its simple for you, but not for me

Because you don’t understand what they said.

Fool me once shame

on me but fool me twice shame on

you

not me.

I won’t be a victim again.

I can’t be a victim again.

You don’t understand, I’ve been hurt

So many times before.

This time is the last.

I surround my heart with wire

a fortress of protection to stop

Those invaders of my goodwill

Taking advantage

Catching me off guard

Ruining me

You won’t hurt me again.

But I will never love again.

(Poem inspired by Matthew 18 vs. 22-23)