Cookies

Waiting is boring.

Preparing is dull.

Quite often I fancy homemade cookies, but going through the actual process of getting out all the ingredients, measuring them, re-measuring them because I get confused in my conversion from English grams to American cups, getting out the (beloved) chrome Kitchen Aid mixer, following the recipe, dividing up the dough…blah blah blah, I’m bored, and now very much hungry, just thinking about doing all that effort and all that work.

All that preparation.

We just want the cookies. The main event. The end product.

I had a good crying session Sunday night with my beautiful & faithful friend Kelli McFarlane.

I was pouring out my heart over current situations and feeling like I’m in this random time of waiting for who knows what, and not understanding so many things. I know that this is the right path, yet I wonder and worry about so much. Am I really being effective?! What difference am I making?! And then Kelli did what she does better than most people I know.

She asked me an awkward question:

“Jesus spent only 3 years in recorded Bible work. What was he doing for the rest of the time? Was he wasting it?”

Silly Kelli, of course Jesus didn’t waste his time – He’s the son of God!! He would have got a right good spanking from His Dad for wasting time!!

But it got me thinking: What on earth was he doing for the first 30 years?!

So Monday morning I studied the structure of Jesus’ life.

1 day old: Born to a virgin, in a manger; random shepherds came to worship.

8 days old: Circumsised. Guess that was a rough day.

41 days old: Brought to the temple in Jerusalem to be presented; a sacrifice of two turtle doves/pigeons, made

12 years old: Feast of Passover, Jesus lingered behind in Jerusalem, spending three days in the temple, sitting in the midst of teachers, both listening to them and asking questions. All who heard Him were astonished at His understanding and answers.

Aged 30: Jesus began His ministry, after being baptized by John. The rest of those details are heavily recorded.

Aged 30-33: His “ministry” time. These details are heavily recorded.

What was he doing between 41 days old and 12 years old?!

(besides getting potty trained?)

What was he doing between 12 years old and 30 years old?!

(besides that awkward pubescent smelly phase?)

Looking at the few verses that commentate on this they say:

“And the Child grew and became strong in Spirit, filled with wisdom […] And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and men”

That’s a long time spent on growing strong, and increasing in wisdom, but obviously with the amazing things that Jesus did aged 30-33, that time was important. It had benefit. It had worth.

It was essential.

When Steve did his half-marathon, he trained for at least an hour, 3-4 times a week, for several months. His race lasted just over 2 hours.

At the end of the race he got a medal and the sense of pride of achievement, but the lesson wasn’t in the event.

It was in the hours of preparation. That’s where he learnt discipline, hard work, focus, sacrifice, commitment.

The race day was simply the painful culmination of it all.

University isn’t just about a degree, a piece of paper with your name and a grade.

Though I highly advocate further education and the value of a degree, university is a place where you learn social skills, independence, time management, discover who you really are, work out what you want from life, what you have to offer the world and learn from different teachers and different people from different backgrounds.

Father God puts us through times of preparation for a reason.

As I was worshipping God by singing songs tonight, He dropped in my head all my single girl friends.

He said: ‘I am preparing them for marriage’

There are things you are learning now, which will make you a better wife at the start of your marriage then people who get married 5, 7, 10 years before you. You will be better prepared at running a household, managing finances, looking after yourself and others because of your time spent in advance.

Maybe you’re unemployed, or stuck in an in-between temp job trying to work out what the next step is.

Maybe you feel like the country and role you have right now is the one you are supposed to be in, but you know there is something more coming up.

Maybe you have just come out of a long-term relationship, and are wondering why you had to endure that heartache.

In this in-between phase, there are things to be learnt, skills to be honed, adventures to have, wisdom and strength to gain that will make our main event, our race day, our marriage all the better because we were prepared.

It’s hard, because all we want is the cookie. 

But the cookie tastes so much sweeter when you know the effort that you put in to get there.

The ones brought straight from the store never taste as good.

Wandering

I feel like I’m wandering.

Just existing with no real purpose.

And it feels bad.

Feels like I’m wasting the life that Father God gave me.

Feel like I’m wasting the talent

The gifts, the skills…

But the truth is

Last year

I was

Wandering

Aimlessly

I had a job title

A role

A description

An email signature

A to do list that never seemed to end

Calls to make

Meetings to have

But mentally

I don’t know if I was there

Mentally

I was wandering

Wondering if this was all there was to life

Examining whether I was passionate about this

Knowing that this was not what 100% looked like

Knowing this wasn’t what I wanted my life to be

And I was wandering onto a path I didn’t want to be on

I wonder if it’s better

This way

It might not look like it

Look like the better way

But it feels more honest.

Field Trip

Our last full day in Accra was truly a beautiful day.

Our hectic schedule included visiting an orphanage, a school, a market and a beach. Driven by Royalhouse Chapel's drive of 17 years, Harrison, we spent what felt like most of our day listening to the honking horns of Ghanaian traffic. But the long drives from place to place gave me lots of time to think and reflect. 

Our first stop was to see Miss Beckylynn runs Pathfinders, a home for children who have been orphaned as a result of either (or both) of their parents dying from HIV/AIDS. The children are aware that their parents have died, but not the reason why. This is for two reasons:

1. So they are not stigmatized by their school mates or those in the community around the orphanage

2. They do not stigmatize themselves (thus leading to self-fulfilling prophecy – where you believe bad myths about your race/gender/situation, and through your own fault, live up to the low expectations set by these folklores)

Twenty children, ranging in ages 2 to 17, gathered anxiously on wooden benches, excited that the number of guests exceeded them.

For once they wouldn’t have to share, but have one-on-one time with an adult.

Steve and I quickly became engaged in conversation with Selestina, a 15 year old with aspirations of being a civil engineer. Her father, only the day before, had dropped her off to be placed in the capable hands of Pathfinders, seemingly in the aftermath of her mother to that life-taking illness. For an unknown/unexplained reason, her siblings remained with her dad. Her manner was warm and educated. She was planning on setting up a Christian Club at her school as she wanted to see people genuinely living out their faith and encouraging one another.

Mavis, aged 17, was single, abandoned and pregnant. She only spoke Tre (one of the many regional languages of Ghana) which was a sign of her lack of education (Ghanaian students in good schools, are taught in English) so translation was difficult. As Selestina told me she was 7 months pregnant, all my questions seemed pointless and silly. I felt like I had no words of encouragement to this young troubled woman, who was painfully shy and embarrassed to be asked questions, embarrassed to be the center of attention when she had previously been ostracized by her previous community. She felt it was shame that had resulted in her arrival at Pathfinders.

Elijah, no more than 2, strode confidently over to Andrew (Pais:Ghana apprentice from Northern Ireland), reaching his hands upwards, as a signal to be lifted into Andrew’s arms. Andrew’s surprised but very paternal obedience to the wordless command brought a smile to the toddler’s face. 

We ran relay races played games, and sang songs. One girl's request of both ‘The First Noel’ and ‘Hark the Herald Angels sing’ was met with stifled laughter, but as we sang and saw a smile rise, we realized that somehow these festive songs brought a joy to her spirit.

When so much had been taken away from her, who could we not happily meet her simple request.

Before we left, we handed out school supplies to each student. They lined up excitedly, as each apprentice passed over a coloured notebook and a decorated bright blue paper sack containing coloured crayons, pencils, erasers and a glue stick. Esther (Pais:Ghana apprentice from Germany) was firm in her ask for a yellow notebook stating “It’s that girl’s favourite colour.”

We somberly got back onto the bus; the scorching sun smudging make up, and sweat falling down our foreheads as we grabbed and shared the few water bottles we had between us. Carmen (Pais:Ghana apprentice from Mexico; was on Steve’s team Jan-June 2009) and I looked around the neighbourhood as we continued our journey. How different would our lives have been had this been our home? How much does the environment a person is brought up in shape the adult they become?

How easy it was to bring a smile to their faces with a fun action song, and a nicely decorated gift bag.

How easy it was to meet their maybe strange, but very obtainable, desires.

How easy it is to take for granted all that you have, then visit a place where others are in need, or see a sad story on the news, or read a harrowing tale of poverty in the paper…

…and have your heart moved, your gut wrenched, your tears fall…

…and tomorrow be no more changed than you were before you had even seen or heard.

My friend Anna, a self-confessed hater of all Physical Education in school, and all organized sport, ran in the Great North Run on Sunday.

13 miles, on a cold and rainy northern England morning, in a time of 3 hours 30 minutes.

She describes her idea of exercise as dancing at clubs on Saturday nights and walking to the fridge for a bar of chocolate. She lost toenails, bled through her shoes and has two almighty blisters but was led to put her “squidgy around the edges” body through it for a reason:

“I am running this to raise lots of money to help people with visual impairments like my Pa. Losing his sight affected his life in more ways than you could imagine and I hope that the money I raise will help support those who have lost their sight and also help in the research and treatment of diseases that cause blindness.“

Father God, would you make me a person, who doesn't forget, cannot forget, and is changed beyond words...

...and into action.

Tambourine

I finally got my chance to be part of the worship team on Saturday during the Pais commissioning service. And it wasn’t with a tambourine [someone else had that :O)].

I was on stage.

Holding a microphone.

That was working.

During worship.

My role?

There were no plug-ins for the acoustic guitars, so I had to hold the microphone by one of them so the audience could hear the music.

The audience couldn’t see me because I was hidden behind the Pais:Ghana banner that was on stage.

The past three days have been a flurry of manic activity and really understanding TIA – This is Africa. It is fast-paced yet slow; it is post-modern yet pre-modern; it is expensive yet cheap.

On Friday, it was our last day of “classroom style” Foundational Training [from Monday we will be doing a week of practical preaching and ministry writing work]. Saturday was our commissioning service and Steve and I were invited to speak at one of the Pais partnering churches youth leaders training sessions. Today, we arrived at church at 7am and left at 2.30pm.

What I am LOVING about Ghana is the worship.

The loud, exciting, passionate, joyful expression of people praising God.

Today at church there was a dance troupe of tambourine-clad older ladies rocking it out in a choreographed routine.

Some of the apprentices joined some Ghanaians in what looked like a Christian version of the Macarena.

The “Children’s Day” presentation involved three boys and a girl break dancing and rapping, as well as a massive group dance to Mary Mary.

And I am LOVING prayer times.

Just how passionate and excited people are about something that so many see as a painful obligation. How rich and deep their belief in Father God answering them is.

The Reverend at Royalhouse Chapel today spoke about how the apprentices from difference countries would go back changed after a year being with them.

I feel changed after a week….only three days left :O(

Treat

This was our treat last night.

A bottle of orange Fanta,

a packet of shortbread biscuits,

and the Kingdom of Heaven movie on the projector screen in the upstairs lounge.

As we passed the crate of drink and box of cookies round the circled group of apprentices, everyone whooped and hollered with joy and clapped.

A week ago I would have scoffed at this as a treat. If Steve came home from the grocery store with this, I would have sent him back for a large bag sour patch kids, a crate of vitamin water, and a big bag of the special kettlecorn popcorn I like that comes in a red bag.

So much of my perspective is changing. So many of the things I felt were essential are being diminished.

While most of us watched the first half of the movies in the upper living room, downstairs we heard the all to familiar intro to the Kingdom Principles series [familiar because we have heard it so many times in the last week/years but also because it is taken from the Kingdom of Heaven soundtrack!].

A small group of apprentices and support staff who had missed parts of the series for various reasons were gathered around a laptop watching ‘Use it or Lose it’. As we came down the stairs at the movies they were still involved in a deep discussion of the material that began after the 50-minute teaching had finished.  

So I guess treats are dependent upon two things:

one, what you are used to in everyday non-treat life

and

two, what you are hungry for. 

Buy

Today Steve & I finally got money changed and now can buy stuff!! The joy of cedis in our pocket was too much and the local trade was a glad recipient. My first stop was to the local dry cleaners [I know it sounds pretentious, but I spilt orange juice down myself on the plane and I was scared it would ruined my Ralph Lauren blanket…I’m not sounding any less pretentious am i?!]. Next was a local restaurant to pick up someone’s food for lunch, and then the gas station for a can of coke that Steve had been craving and finally a street vendor selling yam chips, chicken and fish. I was told that to prevent illness, not to eat from the street vendors. As the sauce for the chicken was poured into a black plastic bag and passed to my company, I understood why. After the days sessions, we went to the local market to pick up a box of biscuits and a crate of drinks for our movie night [Paul Gibbs will be glad to know that we are watching ‘Kingdom of Heaven’!]

My tour guide [aka the token Ghanaian person to take with me so I wouldn’t get ripped off] was Josephine. Aged 26, she has been involved in various missions across Ghana, and the Ivory Coast, making her well travelled for a young village Ghanaian. For several months she has been asking Father to show her a mission she could get involved in longer term, but she couldn’t verbalize what she was looking for. On Sunday, as the Pais promo video played in her church [Harvest Chapel International] she was suddenly confronted with the thing she was looking for. And after the service, she joined Pais.

As we walked she shared her life story; her passion was literally spilling out on the dirt road. At times with her fast Ghanaian drawl, it was hard to understand exactly what she was saying, but her excitement came through as clear as anything. She even recruited her friend Henry that same day to join as well.

Today’s schedule:

-       The Creed & the Vow Ceremony

-       Schools: Divinity – The Holy Spirit – Sebrina Miller

-       Schools: Doors – Mawunyo Debrah

-       Apprenticeship: Team – Steve Miller

I didn’t put the times down because the schedule went out of the window. Not in a disorganized way, but in a “Father God, we’re just following you kind of way”. Minster Isaac & his wife Pastor Hannah [leaders at Royalhouse Chapel International who have visited America previously] did an impromptu welcome talk in the morning as they hadn’t been able to come and visit the team yet. The Creed and Vow Ceremony, though we had less apprentices than most nations, was just so prayer filled that we couldn’t stop. My Holy Spirit talk ended up starting at noon…enter 40 mins of me speaking followed by words of knowledge, words of wisdom, speaking/interpreting tongues, prayers, affirmations, emotional healings…when I realized the  times was 1:50 we decided we needed to have a break…since no one had eaten since breakfast since 8am!! Father’s spirit was just so tangible…you could feel it…there was such power and an excitement to seek God..and imagining taking that power into schools and impacting students lives.

In Mawunyo’s doors talk she said something so amazing:

“I feel like Pais:Ghana, if it was lined up with the other Pais nations, would get asked the biggest question because it has the biggest opportunity”

And she is so right. The schools are so OPEN to Pais coming in, to preaching within them…assemblies to literally a thousand of students at a time, lessons, visits to an orphanage, missions into the local villages…There is so so much that these guys have been entrusted with, such a great harvest of students and children in front of them, ripe for the picking, ready to hear a word, ready to have their lives changed and transformed. Ready to be brought hope and love.

But we can’t force them into the Kingdom. We can’t pay them to enter. We can’t do their dry cleaning to get them there. We can’t buy their love. So we have to use the opportunity wisely. Strategically. Spirit-led.

But when it happens…when it all comes together…

BOOMTOWN is the only word I can think of.

I am soooo excited to leave for no other reason than when I go, their work out side of the conference room begins!!

Together

I hate being alone. 


I know hate is a strong word, but I really don't like it. Yes, we should be able to embrace quiet time, and learn to be still and silent, but I am part of the generation of people like Elizabeth Gilbert (protagonist in 'Eat, Pray, Love') that cannot learn to just be still and mediate in the position of a bridge, board, or other random inanimate object.

I need people!! I need noise!!

Another reason why Ghana is the best place in the world for me.

Under one five-bedroomed roof live twenty-two of us, ranging from 14-40, from seven different countries [Ghana, Togo, Germany, England, Mexico, America & Northern Ireland]. There is a frequently sung the song, "There were four in the bed and the lile one said, 'Move down because another apprentice just got accepted so we need to make room for them!'". With water problems for two days, toilets were full of everything from every orifice. Meals around the 8-seater table are a diving event of hands, food and madness. People sit on each others laps and the arms of the chair as we gather around the tv.

Yet there are no complaints. 

I said it yesterday, and I will reiterate it again: It takes a special type of person to give up the comfort of their western life and live in Africa.

And it is these special people who will change the world. 

I love the late night chats, the hanging out, the communal meals, the trips to the store that don't require ten people to go, but everyone is enjoying hanging out so much they can't break away.

Steve was yesterday's hero for fixing the water. The shower off our room is the best one in the house, so I offered whoever wanted to use it the opportunity to do so before we settled down for the night. After the final person finished, they mopped up the bathroom not wanting to leave it dirty for us.

At lunchtime, whether you have put money in the pot or not, bread, ham tongue and overpriced cheese are shared and passed around the table.

A toilet is cleaning thoroughly even though you weren't the one to repeatedly throw up in it.

This is what it means to be together.
To have community.
To live out the body of Christ.

It is not just in the words we say to encourage one another, or the polished preach we proclaim, but in the acts we serve one another with.

"This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples-when they see the love you have for each other."
{John 13:35 - the message translation}

I love the loudness of this house. The only moment of silence in the house is when "internet time" happens (for just one hour a day) and all the "foreigners" gather around their laptops to update their Facebook statuses, blogs and check emails.

The irony of a internet-based virtual community replacing human tangible connections.

There is no greater joy to me than this.
This togetherness.
This love.
This hope.

I imagine Father God loves it. 
Revels in it.
Takes joy and pride in us, His creation, fulfilling the purpose He desired us to have.

And I imagine how when it is released into the schools and the communities, the great impact it will make. 

People

Our first day of teaching training…yet I am the one learning so much…

The day started at 7am, meeting with the team leaders for extra training. 8:15 we met to start Haverim devotions (Pais’ new way of studying scripture daily as a team based on PaRaDiSe teaching & principles from Talmidin) outside in the courtyard – what amazes me is a cliché, but none the less a valid point – people are people no matter where they are from: Ghana, England, America, Germany, Togo, Germany…we all desire to learn more, and share ideas and thoughts on the word of God. 

As we worshipped and prayed together as the rain gently patted onto the corrugate iron roof, I couldn’t help but smile as I looked around and heard their voices raise, desperate to see God move this year in the lives of the people of Accra. As we sang “God of this City” we declared what we wanted to see happen – more students saved, a greater passion in this area, truth brought to these people….

Today’s sessions were:

-       Kingdom Principles: “Rubbish In, Rubbish Out” – Paul Gibbs (via video)

-       Schools: Delivery – Gail Whittaker

-       Apprenticeship: FriendRaising – Sebrina Miller

-       Apprenticeship: Mistakes & Lesson – Steve Miller

Everyone is keen to write down notes but not everyone had resources. Several of the Ghanaian team members were scribbling notes into abandoned diaries/calendars; one was even writing in the blank pages back of George Foreman’s autobiography! So 10 (of the 210!!) notebooks we collected as school supplies for the students were given out to apprentices – glad we brought as many as we did!!

Following the sessions, we were taken on a tour of the surrounding area. Despite being in the capital city, there is such a disparity between the wealth of the malls, modern stores, university and large houses surrounding the airport, and the clay red path and shack huts just a half hour away. Our guesthouse, one of the best in the city, is occasionally without water and electricity yet we just get on. The endurance of the apprentices, even the western ones, is astounding – it takes a very special type of person to be willing to live this uncomfortable life, but a life that is essential to be led in order to bring the gospel to these students.

As we strolled around the backstreets, led by the Ghanaian apprentices and support staff, random children shouted “obruni” (white person) and “obini” (black person) – with my cardigan jauntily tied over my shoulders and skinny fit twisted jeans, I am called “obruni”. As they came towards us, some unexpectedly hugged us and all were desperate to have their picture taken – it seems everyone in the world wants to be “Facebook famous”.

Ben, one of the support staff from Royalhouse Chapel International, talked passionately and candidly about the needs of the people in this area. Most would be born, live, & die in this near poverty, never seeking to achieve more because they were without the hope of Jesus: this hope, Ben said, was they key, their way out.

A bigger vision of God gives you a bigger vision of yourself.

From Ghana to America, Germany to England, Togo to Mexico and beyond.

That’s what people need. 

Accra

24 hours in Ghana is a like a lifetime of fun, beauty, joy, spirit-filled wonderful ness...I already know there will be tears leaving this amazing place with these beautiful people...


I feel something is coming...I have got words from Father that I am desperate to share with these guys but already I am learning so much from them, especially the Ghanaians - they have a strong, deep connection with Father and it overspills with enthusiasm to all around


I really feel that Father is going to show me more of Himself - I already feel as if He has - I don't want a "mission trip high" where I come and experience this and go back excited for a few days and then it fades like a cheap fake tan...I want something that deeply and eternally changes me.


At Accra airport after no immigration or customs problems, we were greeted by several of the team. As we left the airport, the haggling, bartering and people desperate to push your cart in return for some cedi (ghanaian currency) reminded me of Jamaica this summer and the desperation of peole to make money - for some i imagine their fulltime job is loitering, hopign to get a few lucky breaks from wealthy tourists or locals.


As we arrived at the guest house (where all 20 apprentices, directors and support staff have been and will continue to stay for training) i was impressed that they all came down to greet us despite our late arrival - some were even in pyjamas.


A culture, it seems, has already been set, of honouring your leaders, and I already feel a great sense of appreciation that we are here, when I feel appreciative of this honour to be with them.


Over a late dinner some of the team gave their first impressions.


1. I LOVED their hearts and willingness to share. 
2. It is evident that Ghana is a prayer-drive, spirit-filled environment - some of the team wake at 2am or 4am to pray together (the Ghanaian team members only - the "foreigners" are getting over their jetlag/getting used to such passion at all times of day).


Warned that church would be three hours long, four and a half hours into the service I was still dancing away, making notes, taking pictures, clapping my hands, excited and enthralled by the dancing in the aisles in celebration of giving offering or just sheer joy, the amazing professionalism and skill of the worship team, as well as their willingness to go with the flow of the spirit, the passion of the pastor as they introduced the Pais teams on stage...wow...I don't understand why every church in the world doesn't worship like this when we claim to believe in the same God as these people.


Tomorrow sees Steve, Gail and I each deliver our first sessions...EXCITED to get going and just pour into the beautiful team!!


Thanks to God for:

• Picked up the right "Gail" (Gail is joining us from Accrington in England - 40-year-old married mother of one, never been to Africa, doesn't know that much about Pais, ex-school teacher, saw Paul advertise that he wanted someone to help with Pais:Ghana training and responded after her trip to Mozambique was cancelled, dead excited, a real asset to the team!!)
• Safe arrival
• Baggage all came
• The team is AMAZING
• Fantastic time in church today - Harvest Chapel International, a new partner church in Accra - EXTREMELY welcoming and excited to have Pais
• Great unity/cohesion with the team

Things to pray for:

• Safety & health, for us and the new apprentices acclimatizing to Ghana
• Unity amongst the team
• Excellence, clarity & energy in the teaching of our seminars
• Support for Mawunyo
• Inspiring 1st year apprentices to rise up early on and commit to staying for more than a year on Pais in Ghana
• Great talks with Mawunyo and Royalhouse Chapel International pastors about future plans
• Seeing more of God
• Openness to whatever Father would speak to us about

Thanks so much to all the supporters who gave financially to make this possibility - believe me your money isn't being wasted!!

Wish you could be here...but pray that my notes will open your eyes to see more than just these words. 

HUGS

LOVE YOU ALL!!