Tock

We stand to attention at its bells

Grudgingly wake up to its alarms

Wait nervously as its hands tick

This wonderfully uncontrollable thing

Silently is in control of us

It comes

To no surprise

That I delight in nothing more

Than sprinting ahead

Of the tocking master

To chase it down

And refuse to let it grab its hands on me

But sometimes

Especially in this time

Time defeats me

By not telling me how long

I must wait

Wait for a job

Wait for a house

Wait for friends

Wait for course answers

Wait for money

Wait for these things

But what am I really waiting for

My heart cries “What time is it Mr Wolf” desperate to run paces ahead

To a sweet victory

And not be devoured

By the dinner time of the enemy

Who lies in wait

For those who would waste the ticking minutes

Pouring over pages of John’s words

I read over and again

It is not yet me time

My time is not come

Brother Jesus seems to enthralled with the

Watching of the clock too

For there is something ahead

That cannot be awaken

Until its due time

What am I waiting for?

Lessons.

For Kingdom school is starting

Lining up outside

Awaiting the creaking of an opening door

To the room of revelation

Where head master would draw me in

And show me the things I have not yet grasped

My lesson now?
Patience.

And yes this is a lesson I have repeatedly learnt

But each time I flunk out

Because what has been remembered for the test

Has been forgotten for the life

Patience.

To not think my short-nosed plan is so correct and accurate

That I need not wait to see how things pan out

To realise there was no real way to prepare for all this changing

The moving of bags

The moving of roles

The moving of heart, and connections with friends

The moving of place where we learnt to be married, where we learnt to be missionaries, where we learnt to be truly us

Patience to settle back into this land of cold unfamiliarity

My house

not yet restored to being

my home

nothing yet has gone to “plan”
no job or school was one on our list three weeks ago

no idea remains for the rest of the year

for the nearly four weeks

have been a rollercoaster no end

Tick.

I still have much patience to learn.

So much to learn about the sovereignty of the clock maker.