Tock

We stand to attention at its bells

Grudgingly wake up to its alarms

Wait nervously as its hands tick

This wonderfully uncontrollable thing

Silently is in control of us

It comes

To no surprise

That I delight in nothing more

Than sprinting ahead

Of the tocking master

To chase it down

And refuse to let it grab its hands on me

But sometimes

Especially in this time

Time defeats me

By not telling me how long

I must wait

Wait for a job

Wait for a house

Wait for friends

Wait for course answers

Wait for money

Wait for these things

But what am I really waiting for

My heart cries “What time is it Mr Wolf” desperate to run paces ahead

To a sweet victory

And not be devoured

By the dinner time of the enemy

Who lies in wait

For those who would waste the ticking minutes

Pouring over pages of John’s words

I read over and again

It is not yet me time

My time is not come

Brother Jesus seems to enthralled with the

Watching of the clock too

For there is something ahead

That cannot be awaken

Until its due time

What am I waiting for?

Lessons.

For Kingdom school is starting

Lining up outside

Awaiting the creaking of an opening door

To the room of revelation

Where head master would draw me in

And show me the things I have not yet grasped

My lesson now?
Patience.

And yes this is a lesson I have repeatedly learnt

But each time I flunk out

Because what has been remembered for the test

Has been forgotten for the life

Patience.

To not think my short-nosed plan is so correct and accurate

That I need not wait to see how things pan out

To realise there was no real way to prepare for all this changing

The moving of bags

The moving of roles

The moving of heart, and connections with friends

The moving of place where we learnt to be married, where we learnt to be missionaries, where we learnt to be truly us

Patience to settle back into this land of cold unfamiliarity

My house

not yet restored to being

my home

nothing yet has gone to “plan”
no job or school was one on our list three weeks ago

no idea remains for the rest of the year

for the nearly four weeks

have been a rollercoaster no end

Tick.

I still have much patience to learn.

So much to learn about the sovereignty of the clock maker.

Emergency

S&S Babysitting inc. is in high season, with overnight watching while parents are away seeming to the be the most popular request of April. A few weekends ago, while supervising three teens, their mother got the call no one wants to get:

“Hello Ma’am, this is Dalworthington Gardens Police Department…”

Heart sinks.

Face drains of all colour.

A thousand tragic situations race through your mind before you decide on a combination of the three worst.

“Your neighbour has caught your dog, it seems she escaped.”

Heart searches safely for a steady beat.

Colour returns.

You prepare the talk on responsibility you will give your kids…and Steve and Sebrina.

At any given time, our whole words could change with that phone call, that email, that message

Of emergency.

Beth Moore describes the three things that can happen to us in an emergency.

Panic.

This is my favourite.

Sheer, unadulterated, woman going crazy and wild.

The “fixers” of us have to find a solution.

And what better solution that seven things all at once.

Chickens who left their heads behind long ago, there is nothing that can control us.

And in this crazy madness

We do

The

Wrong

Thing.

Our panic results in us completely losing the plot, the sense, and hands raised up in the air, all that we held onto is strewn across the sky.

All is ruined.

Paralysed.

Frozen to the spot, the news cripples us with sad results.

Everything stops.

We hear nothing, see nothing, feel nothing.

Numb to action, wading in inaction.

Confined by a wheelchair of fear and dread, completely unable to cope.

You stop. And you cannot move.

The tears fall but no hand can rise to wipe them.

You are stuck.

All is still.

When I think about emergencies, I am reminded of Ann Voskamp (www.aholyexperience.com) who says in her “joyful parenting” manifesto:

“Today, I will not have any emergencies.

There are no emergencies!

Only amateurs hurry.”

No emergencies?

What a preposterous thought!

There is always something to panic/be paralyzed over!

There is always something to worry about!

There is always something unexpected that comes up!

There is always.

It is always.

The torrent of life.

The rushing waterfall of pressure.

The never-ending list.

No day will come with nothing to do but sit still.

Each day has something for us. Something good. But something challenging.

“911 what is your emergency?”

“I need help with my math homework!”

“I didn’t get the food “my way” at the restaurant!”

“My son won’t clean his messy bedroom!”

“My boyfriend won’t propose to me!”

All genuine 911 calls.

All genuine emergencies to those people.

What today feels like a genuine emergency, but tomorrow will be the laugh among you and your friends?

Oh, this temporary world, where so much is fading away, tricks us time and time again into believing that what we are seeing and experiencing right now is all there really is.

But when we take the time.

Take time.

Pray.

That moment of silence, where I seem paralyzed, but my stillness allows something greater to move into action

That moment where my panic draws me to the only place I can really gain strength and help.

The emergency fades.

The sirens stop blaring.

And I see it for what it is.

A temporary problem that will not defeat me today.

A temporary problem that will attempt to steal my joy.

A temporary problem that is simply that.

No.

There will be no emergencies today.