Pee & Poop

We were first inspired to start this journey early on by another parent we know who was doing “Elimination Communication” which is in essence leaving your child with no nappy on and watching their faces to learn cues for pee and poop! For us that sounded like to much work, especially in winter in a cold house, and especially with newborn poop, but it got something triggered in our head. Both my mum and Steve’s grandmother were grand advocates of the idea that babies aren’t really too young for the potty, and that there are specific times when they will almost always pee (and/or poop) and that you should put them on the potty at these times.

So here we are with a 19 month old who is basically dry through the day and night, and we aren’t really sure how it happened!! We are by no means experts in this field, but so far we have had a successful and unstressful adventure with potty training, and after some requests we thought it might be helpful to share some of our limited tips:

Positivity

We are an over-zealous and enthusiastic family at the best of times, and this has been encouragement overload!! Pees & poops get rewarded with praise and high fives, and when there have been accidents or she’s gone in her pants, we’ve explained “Try next time in the potty ok?” but not said “Bad Zella” or told her off. In part that’s because we recognised she was super young to be catching on to it, but also we wanted her to rejoice in her successes and never feel like a failure in this area as that could have put her a step back and created fear/anxiety.

Potty

Have a potty in your house from as early as you can. A lot of kids seem to be scared of potties, but it’s harder to be scared of something that is presented as friendly and presented early on in your development. We have had one in our house since 4 months old. We got a cheap one for a quid from Tesco, and when we moved house we got another one as we had an extra bathroom. Again, this was just a cheap one from Ikea. In addition we have a step stool to reach the toilet, and two of those seats that you add on to the toilet for little ones to do their business. So in each bathroom there was a comfortable toilet solution for Zella, and it was always at easy reach/could be moved into the living room if needed.

Pick & Put

We all as adults have those times we always go to the toilet – first thing in the morning, last thing before bed, just after drinking a massive bottle of water, right after a meal… Pick one time daily (we started with after dinner/just before bathtime when she was naked/getting changed anyways) and spend a week or more putting them on the toilet at that time. Chances are they will pee and it will get them more used to it. Then gradually add another time in (for us it was first thing in the morning). As she progressed and got it, we added more times in, and started to get to the point where she was giving us cues to go, or simply walking to the potty/bathroom herself.

Parade around

It has the potential to be messy, but embrace nappy off time as much as possible. If you are planning to be inside for a few hours, or it’s the evening before/after dinner, or at the weekend, and you are just chilling watching tv/playing with toys, then let them go free! It’s less disconcerting when you have wooden floor, but even with carpet, you could put down some plastic sheeting/a blanket if you are worried! Put the potty in a visible place and explain to them if they want a pee, then go there (pointing, being enthusiastic) and see what happens. We have had both pee and poop on our floor (have some antibacterial spray to hand), but it really wasn’t as bad as I thought.

Parental Peeing

Because its always important to model the behaviour you expect ;O)

Palm-Greasing

Zella is rewarded with chocolate buttons and we have no shame in that.

Public Praise

We all have a need in us to be loved and affirmed. As much as possible we have praised Zella in front of others. When in the house, if she has had a successful trip to the toilet, then we get her to tell the other parent who praises her. This works well in teaching the child to articulate to a grown up what they have just done. Zella doesn’t use words, but she points to the front if she peed and the back if she pooped, so she is developing the language of bathroom etiquette and communicating her needs. This obviously is useful when you go out in public, are at someone else’s house etc. She gets so excited telling other grown ups besides us when she has done something and getting a high five from them too, and means she won’t be scared to tell someone else when we aren’t around and she needs to go.

Finally, some interesting sociology/history for you:

In 1957 the average age for beginning potty training was 11 months old, with 90% of children being dry during the day by the age of two.

Fast forward to now, and the average age that parents say children show an interest is 24-25 months (2 years old), with 90% dry by age 3, and most dry all day by age 4.

How have things changed? Why such an increase in age?

In part, it is due to nappy types. Disposable nappies at their very nature are made to keep baby/toddler as dry as possible, drawing water away from their skin. Children therefore don’t feel wet, thus it makes it harder for them to discern needing the toilet and those various cues. We are great advocates for cloth nappies, gNappies being our only and preferred brand, and we think in part the use of cloth has meant Zella is more aware of it all, we change her a but more often, and she has learnt earlier on what it means to be wet and dry. The conspiracist side of me says, nappy companies want your money for as long as possible, and as the market has increased, and their absorbency has increased, so has the mantra of “waiting until the little one is ready” rather than leading as a parent. I’m a cynic, but I think there is some truth in that statement. The average child now wears 5000 nappies from 0-3. Imagine the hundreds of pounds you could save by cutting down that gap, even by a few months!!

I think in part, our culture has gotten a little lazy, and we don’t like too much hard work, and we are being trained to let our kids lead, when sometimes we need to be the grown up. Reports are showing that kids are increasingly starting nursery, reception, and even year one still wearing nappies. That isn’t because of medical issues, it is simply because time hasn’t been put in it at home. Life gets busy, and it has taken a decent chunk of time to train Zella, to take her to the toilet in the middle of playing at friends houses or at playgroup rather than just leaving her in her nappy, but I feel like it’s worth it.

(And I’m saving money and I like that feeling best of all!)

Steve wants me to reiterate that
(1) we aren’t experts

(2) we only have one child

so these aren’t hard and fast, tried and tested rules.

However, from conversations with older generations, and from research with a few early potty training parents and online, I think these tips could be used and really positive results could come from it!

Good luck with your potty training endeavours!!