Good

Whenever you go through difficult times you need to do two things to claim the "positivity" that is in those situations:

1. Think about/meditate on/read positive things
2. Be around positive people

A few weeks ago when we were at Oak Hills Church in "San Tan" (as I affectionately renamed San Antonio) they sang my favourite song, "Lord you are good" - its one of those happy clappy black church songs that gets your feet stomping and butt shaking in a way that is borderline inappropriate for church!!

So i got thinking about God's goodness, which was really hard to see following "Gladney-Gate", and decided to read a Bible verse everyday talking about God being good.

In Psalm 143 it talks about God's spirit being good, but that is not what struck me this morning.

"I remember the days of old;

I meditate on all Your works;

I muse on the work of your hand"

So I got thinking about my "days of old"...

• Teaching "Shakedown Dance" in a broken community where these beautiful but struggling kids would come and we would shake and body pop and I would talk about self-esteem and Father's love...and dancing IN TIME with the music...
• Time at Keele University spent talking with my friends...how I went to uni finding it hard to trust anyone, but especially girls, not believing I would really bond with girls and then leaving with more "sisters" that you could shake a stick at...and we frequently did in K2!!
• My prayer wall, where anyone at any time could give me a request and I would seek Father for them...and the amount of non-christian friends who used my service...
• Writing, journalling for hours and reading book after book...
• Being outdoors playing rounders, BBQ's...
• That desire in me to have a job where "everyday was something different", swearing i would "never be stuck in an office"...
• When Ruth told me on the second day of uni, that I was the first Christian she had ever met (besides some weird Jehovah's Witnesses) and the realisation that there was a purpose for my life and people that Father God would put in my path that I HAD to speak truth and love into...

And then I though about "all Your [God's] works"...

• Healing me from an unhealthy dependence on boys - helping me to see you as my Father...
• Kaream's birth uniting our family...
• Luke getting saved after a year of praying and hanging out and letting him crash at our apartment because his housematers were mentalists...
• Convo's with Yat, Roger, Fran, Nick, Ed...sometimes about ER...sometimes about needing to borrow the iron...sometimes about the love of God...
• Missions week on Keele Campus where people came for free lunch but left hearing your word...
• The amazing man Kaream is today...
• The softening of my mum's heart...
• Restoring my confidence in myself, in who you made me to be...
• The impact of Pais - lives being changed ETERNALLY...
• Bringing Steve & I together (after that ROUGH first year in different countries) and the heart we have together for the Kingdom and for families...

I could go on and on...there are so many...such a realisation that no time is ever as bad as you think it is...

So do I feel like I have a clearer picture of what the "next step" is for my life??

Nope. 

Do i wish I did??

Kinda.

But in the meantime Steve is getting lots of nice cooked dinners, the laundry is getting done quicker, I'm less grouchy and I'm exploring my creative side (stop asking - no cushion cover orders are being taken!!)

But am I secure in the fact that Father God has a clear path for me, and actually this tangled mess of craziness of life at the moment is the exact part of the path that I'm supposed to be on

To some it may look as if I am by the side of the road, disorientated, raggedy clothed, with my thumb out, desperate for a ride. 

But to Father I am driving in a car, with the top down; wind in my hair with no idea where the Sat Nav is taking me, but pretty content and enjoying the journey. 

This path is good.