Treat

This was our treat last night.

A bottle of orange Fanta,

a packet of shortbread biscuits,

and the Kingdom of Heaven movie on the projector screen in the upstairs lounge.

As we passed the crate of drink and box of cookies round the circled group of apprentices, everyone whooped and hollered with joy and clapped.

A week ago I would have scoffed at this as a treat. If Steve came home from the grocery store with this, I would have sent him back for a large bag sour patch kids, a crate of vitamin water, and a big bag of the special kettlecorn popcorn I like that comes in a red bag.

So much of my perspective is changing. So many of the things I felt were essential are being diminished.

While most of us watched the first half of the movies in the upper living room, downstairs we heard the all to familiar intro to the Kingdom Principles series [familiar because we have heard it so many times in the last week/years but also because it is taken from the Kingdom of Heaven soundtrack!].

A small group of apprentices and support staff who had missed parts of the series for various reasons were gathered around a laptop watching ‘Use it or Lose it’. As we came down the stairs at the movies they were still involved in a deep discussion of the material that began after the 50-minute teaching had finished.  

So I guess treats are dependent upon two things:

one, what you are used to in everyday non-treat life

and

two, what you are hungry for. 

Faith

I had a humbling moment today.

Despite phoning up numerous times and asking supposedly all the right questions, things always go wrong.

When I arrived to check in Kaream after his 5-week stay with us in America, we were told that although he was given two free checked bags leaving Heathrow, he was only entitled to one free checked bag leaving DFW.

We waited 45 minutes to speak to a manager who basically said that a mistake had been made (by the check in agent at LHR, the agent at KIN who told us that bags on international flights were free, and the AA agent we spoke to on the phone the night before Kaream flew who all told us the same thing) and that we would have to pay – there was no other option.

I was already emotional at the thought of Kaream leaving…tears fell down my face in the gap while we waited to speak to the manager…as we walked away with the bag we hoped to check (weighing around 30lbs which Kaream had struggled even to get down the apartment stairs, let alone haul around the airport or even put in the overhead bin) my head raced through the worst case scenarios…“If they can’t even give consistent information on baggage, then how will they look after him?!”…“They lost his release form on the way here, these people are obviously incompetent, how can I be at peace with entrusting him to them?”

And then Kaream spoke to me:

“Seb, lets sing that song that we did at Pais Foundational Training”

And there in the middle of the airport we sang:

Our God is greater, Our God is stronger

God you are higher, than any other

Our God is healer, awesome in power

Our God, Our God

And if our God is with us

Then who could ever stop us?

And if our God is with us

Then what can stand against?

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking “I really hope Kaream’s voice better than yours Sebrina?”

‘Fraid not.

But we worshipped regardless.

When we got to the Boarding Gate, I went to do the final check in for Kaream and to let them know that he would need assistance placing his bag in the overhead locker as his suitcase was heavy.

The agent offered to to check the bag…for free.

Kaream turned to me and said:

“See – I told you God would work it out!”

I really struggle in my faith sometimes when times get hard.

Sometimes I feel as if everything is stacked against me and bad things that go wrong in my life only happen to me.

But everyone poops.

Thus crap is everywhere.

Life is constantly going to be throwing us curveballs and hardballs.

Life will often feel like that scene in Dodgeball when Patches O’Houlihan is throwing wrenches at the team to get them fit.

But good happens, because God has happened.

This is a promise I struggle with, but I have to hold on to.

“If God is for us, then who can be against us?”

So I cried at the gate watching my brother leave, knowing that I won’t see him until Christmas…

…and again at the currency exchange when although the sign said closing was 10pm, at 9:30 the woman had stopped serving…

…and again at the exit to the airport as 2 hrs 59 mins costs you $4 but 3 hrs 4 mins costs you $6…

…and again when I got back to my empty lonely apartment as my husband faithfully serves Pais…

…and again when I felt as if I had nothing to live for as I don’t have a job and I don’t know where Father is leading me…

But God is for me, He isn’t against me.

And I’m clinging to that promise at the moment. 

Solo

For my birthday present, I got surprised with a trip to Florida (to see my friend Catharine Brindley from London compete in the Ironman 70.3 Triathlon AND to spend time with the Pais team there).

I flew FIRST CLASS!!

- Before any one wonders how we can afford that, the answer is we can't!! BUT because we fly standby, flights in America are the same price whether you fly coach/economy or first class...God is FANTASTIC (and that is a note all in itself for another time!!)

Standby rules meant I wasn't allowed to wear denim, shorts skirts or skorts (skirts and shorts combined). I thought my brown knee highs would look sophisticated but they only go with my jeans. In the end i picked a relatively sensible outfit, but topped it offwith a sweater pretentiously placed over my shoulders and tid in a Little Lord Fauntleroy/Prep School/Country Club manner. I discovered that my bag had a slit in it so you could slide it on the top of my small suitcase and look professional and like a well-seasoned traveller.

"Jaunty Fierce" best described me.

On my ticket was written 'Priority Access' so i got to go through another line while those in economy classes queued up.

The flight crew welcomed me more graciously then they had on my previous flights when I was slumming it.

I sat in seat by just ONE other person. Out arms never touched despite my fidgeting.

Our drinks orders were taken and arrived in real glasses.The orange juice tasted as if they had freshly squeezed the fruit from a beach that morning and then thoughtfully sieved to remove pips, bits and impurities that would impair taste.

Snacks were available for sale in coach. In First Debbie (who loved my accent) came and took my order on a stainless steal notepad. My omlette arrived accompanied by potato wedges, a fruit bowl and a lightly toasted bagel. I ate with real silverwear, savouring every morsel of this exquisite delight.

I was being treated like the princess I always knew myself to be.

Amidst this experience i kep thinking:

"I wish Steve was here!"

"Kaream would love flying in first class like this!"

"Jess and Jemma were so lucky when they got to fly first together!"

I had never felt so special.


Yet I had never felt so alone.


Experiences aren't that great when you don't have people to share them with. The moment was sophisticated and refined, but it would have been complete if the moment had been shared.

---

I spent the second half of the plane ride so engrossed in a conversation with the lady next to me, that we never exchanged names though we exchangedlife stories. We talked of healthcare, children, foreclosed houses, pets, flying, birds that were part of divorce settlements, nannies for children vs staying at home, church, quiliting and death.

She was alone.

I was alone.

Together we weren't.

---

On the shared shuttle ride to the hotel, a lady named Harlee who was travelling alone made this simple yet profound statement:

"Its always so much more fun when you can share it with someone!"

And that's the challenge for us all - to find someone fun to share it with. It's not about having a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/child/best friend...its about appreciating and realising that the people that Father God has placed around you are not by chance, are not by accident...there is a plan and a purpose for them. They add to your life. There are experiences you will gain from them that you will not gain from anyone else. They are gifts they have that you are lacking so Father is blessing you by allowing you to learn from them. There are hard times that will remain hard but become bearable by leaning on those besides you. There are words that you will say, words that you will hear, that will change the very trajectory of your life, but you need to be around to be in that moment.

We can have the most amazing experiences, have the most beautiful clothes, have the best job...but if we don't have the right people around us...

In my first year on Pais, I was put on a team with two other boys who could not have been more different from me. I was pretty convinced it was a set up and after a day or so someone would come out and say "SURPRISE" and reveal my actual team to me.

But no one did.

And I think I've come to the place where I am glad they didn't.

There are challenges, conversations, prayers to God, situations that I went through in that first year that without the team I had, I would have never experienced. I was forced to grow and adapt in a way I wouldn't have chosen, but has shaped me into the woman I am today. There are apprentices on Pais that I can guide and encourage because I've been where they have been.

That team, those boys, those people shaped me into what I am today.

I wasn't better off alone.

Who has God arranged for you to be sat next to on the plane?? Nothing is by chance.

People help shape our lives...